Page 37 of The Eleventh Hour

“Did anyone see you?”

I shake my head. There was no one around.

He lifts his hand to my cheek, and I can’t help the butterflies that explode in my stomach. His touch is warm and so gentle, I want to lean into it. I’ve never had a connection this quick with someone. It’s an all-consuming flame. I can’t look at him when he’s in the room because if I do, everyone will know how I feel. I gravitate towards him. It’s huge and terrifying.

And…Louis.

“I can’t do this.”

“I know,” he murmurs.

“I-” I cut off because it's too hard to speak. I feel like I’m losing something precious.

He presses his lips to mine. It’s a quick, passion-filled kiss of regret. When I open my eyes, he’s sliding into his car.

I stand there long after it’s gone, wondering what it is I just lost.

“What happened to the art?” I ask brokenly.

Dane stands up. “That was the last time Terrance was seen alive. He never made it home. We never found his car or any artwork. We never saw him after he walked out the door to go to your art show.”

Dane’s speaking, but the words are breaking me. My stomach seizes.

I stand up and edge backwards towards the door. My mouth is dry. The pain is all-consuming. It’s my fault. There’s blood roaring in my ears. I need to run. I need to get away. Oh, my god, I kissed him and killed him. I may as well have put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger.

Terrance!

I can’t face it. I can’t bear it. I turn and leave their home, ignoring Rafael’s calls and Dane’s surly glare.

Jax

Islam open the door of my apartment and look around wildly. I have to…get it all gone. It needs to go. I rush to my bench and grab newspaper, duct tape, and whatever else I can find and start applying it to the windows, and then duct taping everything on. Layers and layers of material until no light shines through. I move systematically through my apartment. Ignoring Bob and Patty as they start getting frisky.

I can feel him rising, the darkness calling him forth. I work in my bedroom last, getting the final window. The apartment falls into darkness, and it’s like a weight lifts off my shoulder.

Patty and Bob disappear as his stronger presence chases them away. I put music on and chuck my phone on the bed and move towards the closed door. Breathe, just breathe. My stomach is coiling with excitement and anxiety. So many thoughts are chasing each other through my head. I shouldn’t be doing this. Sparrow would be so mad.

I need him.

That’s the strongest, the clearest thought, that I need him.

I open the door and slip through, nudging the wadded material against the gap between the floor and the door. His presence is like a blanket, warm and comforting.

Why, if he’s just part of my mind, does he feel so damn real?

I need him.

I’m moving before I can even decide to move.

We meet in the middle, his arms wrapping around my waist. He buries his face in the crook of my neck.

Soft music plays from my phone in the other room, an orchestral melody that contains as much heartbreak as hope. He starts to sway, and I follow him. It’s so dark I can’t see my hand in front of my face. I feel like I can breathe for the first time today. That is what he does for me. He’s the only place where I can be myself anymore.

“I did a terrible thing, G.”

He doesn’t make a sound, he never does, but I can feel he’s listening intently.

“It’s a secret. I’ve never told anyone else. I didn’t even admit it to myself for years. How could I?”

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