Page 102 of The Eleventh Hour

All three are so different and all as equally impossible as each other. I peek out of the corner of my eyes at Dane and have to swallow the enormous lump in my throat.

My life is not my own. If I could, I would stay with them forever.

Dane passes me my clothes, and I give him a smile. He searches my face, and something shadows his eyes. He’s too good at reading me. Of course, he knows something is wrong. I pull on my clothes until I’m finally back to dressed again and wearing all my mental armour.

“Ready?”

“Yup, let’s go.”

He reaches for my hand, and though I know I shouldn’t, I take his in mine, clinging to the warmth he offers. He leads the way through the building and out to the car. Rafe sits up and frowns, but when his eyes land on my neck, his face clears.

I wait to see if there’s any sign of jealousy, but he seems to only have an expression of smug satisfaction.

“Let's go,” Dane snaps at Rafael, glaring until he removes his eyes from my neck.

“Where to?”

I sigh and rub my temples. “I have to see Sparrow. Like, if I don’t go see him soon, he will send people after me.” It still feels weird to talk about Sparrow out loud, and we are well past needing to have a conversation about him.

“All right.”

“I’ll give you the directions,” I murmur.

The car ride is silent as we drive. Rafael loans me his hoodie when we park. I climb out of the car.

“If I don’t come back, he’s locked me up. Go see Dad, there might not be anything he can do, but there might be something.”

“See Dad. Got it.”

I turn and stare at the building that houses the man who scares me more than any other.

I don’t want to do this.

You don’t have a choice, Jax.

I force myself to move, one step after another until I’m inside.

I inhale and exhale slowly, evening my breathing, and lift my hand to knock on the door that has become my own personal version of hell.

Jax

Sparrow frowns and leans forward. His face is blotchy with red colour, and he looks exhausted from yelling at me. I’m exhausted from having him yell at me. Our session has gone into overtime and doesn’t look like it’s going to end anytime soon.

“Where is Louis?” Sparrow asks again. “If you want to get out of this without a life sentence, you need to talk to me. I’m trying to help you, Jackie.”

“I don’t know,” I say through gritted teeth.

“He loves you.”

“He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t love anything but himself. I’m just a front, a trophy, and a mask!” I scream, losing my temper at last. Holy shit! I’m fucked. I bite back the words, blood draining from my face. I can’t believe I did that. He’s going to lock me up and throw away the key. My hands tremble, so I lock them together and hunch over, waiting.

“A mask?” Sparrow says at last.

“Think about it. I didn’t know anything. I’m like a pretty storefront that hides the bad stuff in the back room,” I say bitterly.

Sparrow leans back. His eyes stare past me, distant and unfocused. “If that’s true, then you’ll go down for it. No one would ever believe you were innocent of it. This really is a shame.”

His words send a black wave of despair through me. Of course, I will. That’s my future. It’s all I deserve.

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