Page 14 of Firecracker

I lean forward placing my elbows on my knees and run my hands through my tousled hair, knowing again she was right.

I sit back, wiping my face. “You’re right. In my heart, I knew I wasn’t happy, and then when I got pregnant, it changed everything. Having Isabella changed my life, the way I looked at Brody and my relationship. He started getting more nasty, demanding things for the band, everything was about him.”

“Did he ever put his hands on you?” Izzy demanded.

I chuckle. “He tried a couple times, but it didn’t go very well. He’s more demanding in the sense of needing me than hurting me. He’s fixated on me. And having me with him all the time. He was even jealous of Bella after she was born. He manipulates me into thinking I can’t live without him and if things go wrong, it’s my fault.” I stand up to move around the room. “It’s fucked up, but I need to be away from him when he finds out about the divorce. He uses sex and passion to manipulate me. I need to get that fire back inside me so I can fight him off and say no.”

Izzy interrupts. “What you need is to get laid by someone else.”

We both laugh. I turn to Izzy who is now leaning against the soundboard, and I smile. “You know how much of a freak I am and how sex is a major thing for me. Well, he knew that too and used it against me. Every time I would threaten to leave, he would force me to stay with sex and manipulation.”

“Ruby, that’s called abuse. So what changed? Why leave him now? What happened?” Izzy questions.

She won’t think bad of you. Just fucking tell her.

“When you were in LA on tour, he had me come visit him, saying we needed a weekend away. Of course, he had his gig to play at, and the whole band was there, so we weren’t actually alone. He just didn’t want me in town when you came home. He either tracked my phone or had some kind of device in the house, but he always knew when you and I would talk.”

I sit down on the edge of the chair, gripping both of my knees to try and calm my nerves.

“Since Isabella was born, I quit going with him on tour and even stopped going on long weekends. Isabella is the real reason I’m leaving him. I get the love and affection I need from her, and when he isn’t around, I finally started finding myself again. Without the band to buff his moods and bullshit, I started to open my eyes. He would never stay away too long without seeing me. He had to make sure he kept his claws in me. He calls every night and talks shit, but each time he would leave it was different. Since he isn’t here in person to manipulate me, it’s different. It’s just verbal abuse, and I know that now. I think I was truly in love with his music because once I stopped traveling with the band and not being around everyone or the music, I fell out of love with him. I truly saw him for who he was, an abusive asshole.”

I pause seeing if Izzy wants to say anything but all she does is moves to sit next to me in her chair and when she smiles I continue.

“Long story short I knew something was going on right when I arrived by the way he was acting. But it was after the show he started acting really weird. He was super aggressive with me, having his hands all over me. Never letting me go more than a few feet away. Asking if I’ve been a good little wife while he’s been away. Wanting to know how horny I was for him and just saying some weird shit. I ignored most of it because he would sometimes get like that when he was away from me for long periods of time, or I threaten to leave him.

“I was pretty buzzed from drinking during the show, and we had a huge after-party in the two room suite we shared with his best friend and drummer, Sam. I noticed people taking pills, I knew it was ecstasy, and when Brody insisted we do it, I knew he must have already been on it, and that’s why he was being overly touchy. I’ve done it before with him so it wasn’t anything I haven’t done before but I just hadn’t done it since having Bella. I didn’t take it right away but shortly after I gave in and took it. The night went on and…”

Izzy leans forward placing her hand on my arm encouraging me to go on, but her face is stone cold. “What did he do? It’s okay. Don’t worry about telling me. I got you.”

I take a deep breath.

“It all happened so fast I didn’t know what to do, but it all felt so good until reality hit me.”

I pause.

Just say it.

“Brody invited other people into our bed. A groupie and…”

Izzy’s mouth drops open with shock.

“He invited Sam into our bed. I didn’t know it was him at first, or at least I tell myself that but…”

When I say Sam’s name, Izzy bolts up from the chair, sending it flying back. “That motherfucker. Why would he bring Sam into it? He knows Sam is in love with you.”

She stops pacing the room and takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry. It’s okay. Just tell me everything. Get it all out.”

“At first it was just Sam in the room. Brody blindfolded me, telling me to trust him, so I didn’t know who was actually in the room. I was lost in the feeling and rolling balls on ecstasy. Brody guided me on top of Sam. It was when they were both inside me, double penetrating me, that I actually heard Beth come in…”

I close my eyes trying to hold back my feelings, taking a deep breath.

“Everyone was so lost in their own euphoric state, that no one really noticed or said anything. She joined in telling Brody she wanted more. Begging to be taken again. Once Sam finished, Brody moved me over, flipping me as Sam slipped out from under me. Brody took me even harder, forcing my face into the mattress. That’s when I slipped my mask up to see it truly was Sam, and it wasn’t my mind playing tricks on me. Sam was fucking Beth bent over the bed, but she kept staring at Brody, asking for more and that she needed more from him. I came pretty hard, and as I laid there I felt the euphoric high from the drugs and my climax, I looked over and saw Brody fucking Beth. Sam started playing with me, building my climax back up, and at that point, I said fuck it- flipped over onto my back and let Sam fuck me, it was so good, I called out his name the whole time, letting everyone in the room know, I knew who was fucking me until we passed out. When I woke up, it was just Brody and I in bed.”

I push my shoulders back proud and take a deep breath. “At first I thought maybe it was a dream, but my body had reality crashing in real fast. I got up out of bed and left him sleeping. I jumped on a plane and came back home, and that’s when I told him it was over.”

Izzy’s mouth is open, and shock still spread across her face.

Silence.

---