Page 1 of Firecracker

Chapter One

“It’s fine.”

You piece of shit.

“Ruby?” I cringe, hearing my soon-to-be-ex-husband dragging out my name probably hoping I’ll fall for his shit and submit to him like a good little obedient wifey.

I try not to sound like a bitch but fail when I reply, “It’s fine, Brody.” Fucking asshole.

“Don’t give me attitude, Ruby. It was your decision to move out while I was-”

I cut him off before he can start spewing his lines of bullshit.

“For fuck’s sake, Brody. I’m not giving you shit. You do need to see your daughter. I agree. As I said, it’s fine.”

God, one day. One day I will tell him how I really feel. One of these days when I’m mentally stronger I’ll unleash fury on him, but right now I need my anger inside to keep me going and not go back to him.

Hell no, not this time!

“Hello… Ruby? Are you even fucking listening to me?” Brody raises his voice sounding irritated.

“Yes. You will be home a week earlier than planned and you want Isabella to be with you for the time you’re home before you leave again. I got it,” I say snidely.

The voices in the background are my queue to get off the phone. Probably one of the groupies. I was so fucking stupid to believe he was different. Different than all the men my mother brought home or even married. I thought he truly loved me but what he wanted was an obedient wife who does what he says with no questions asked.

“Ruby, when I get back we’re having a talk. This little tantrum you’re having needs to end.”

I laugh. “I’m having a tantrum? You sharing your wife with your groupie and band mate or should I say, best friend, is not a fucking tantrum. You cheating on your wife is not a tantrum.”

“Ruby. Lower your voice. You’re overreacting. We will discuss this when I get home and not over the phone. I miss you and want my wife back. You’re not ending this marriage. I’ll see you soon.” The fuck you will…

He continues like nothing is wrong. “Kiss Bella for me and tell her that Daddy loves her.”

I answer annoyed, “Sure,” before hanging up.

I put my phone down on the counter, gripping the kitchen countertop with both hands breathing in deeply trying to calm down.

“It’s okay. I’m fine. I’m okay. Every thing’s going to be fine. I got this!” I say, giving myself a pep talk but failing horribly.

Fuck no, it’s not fine and hell fucking no I’m not okay.

“For fuck’s sake. Get it together,” I say looking up at the ceiling.

I try to say positive shit to myself throughout the day. It helps to keep me going, moving forward in life even though my life sucks donkey balls right now.

I’m a twenty-six-year-old, newly separated single mom. Well actually most of Bella’s life Brody has been gone either on tour, in the studio recording an album or he has just been too exhausted to deal with us, so I pretty much have been a single mom since the beginning.

Life isn’t all peaches and cream. It has its ups and downs, but most of the time it’s just draining. I’m so inside my head, beating myself up with all the bullshit Brody has told me throughout the years and of course all my own self-doubts. I try not to think about it, but every day I have that little voice questioning myself… Am I a good mom? Am I doing everything I can to make her life good? Did I do the right thing? Blah Blah Blah…

“Mama!” my three-year-old daughter’s voice bellows through the house, coming from her bedroom. When I don’t answer fast enough, she screams again but louder. “Mommy!”

I pinch the bridge of my nose trying to keep my shit together but fail when another scream echoes throughout my auntie’s condo.

“Isabella Malone! Stop yelling. What?” I yell back from the kitchen.

“Where are you?” she answers in a whiny voice.

For the love of God, help me stay calm.

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