Page 62 of His Big Bad Stick

“All these paintings,” I say.

Simon laughs.

I don’t.

He stops laughing.

“Something wrong?” I ask.

“Who are you?”

“A paying customer. I want everything in here. Right now.”

“I’m not sure it… I would have to…”

“Name your price,” I say. I step closer to him. “One way or another I’m leaving this gallery with everything in it. Everything. Finished. Half finished. Notebooks. Notes. Ideas. Get what I’m saying, Simon?”

His eyes go wide.

I can’t imagine what must be going through his head right now.

“With all due to respect to the artist, I think it’s only fair we-”

“Don’t preach fairness to me,” I say. “Don’t make this into something else. I can snap your neck like a fucking pencil.”

“Did you just threaten me?”

“If telling you the truth is threatening…”

“Okay, I don’t know what this is, but…”

He’s scared. Panicking. Scrambling.

I reach for my pocket and he jumps back.

“Oh, don’t hurt me!” Simon cries out.

“Just getting a credit card,” I say. “Going to use my best one for points. This is a big purchase. What are you thinking, Simon? Six figures? Right on the dot, maybe?”

“You’re being serious right now,” he whispers.

“I’m a fan of this artwork. And when I see something I want, I don’t like to wait for it. And I don’t like when someone stands in my way of what I want. It gets me angry. Makes me feel…”

Simon is blinking fast.

He hurries behind a small counter.

“Look at it logically,” I say. “If I’m the kind of guy that can walk into a gallery and buy everything in sight, do you really want to fuck with me? Let’s say I reach over and snap your neck. Then what? You think you can outpower me legally? Who’s to say you didn’t trip and fall. Get hurt that way, right?”

“It might take me a while to write all this up,” Simon says. “To inventory…”

“Nope,” I say. “You swipe my card as a sale and I take everything with me.”

“That will take-”

“That’s not your worry,” I say. “Run the sale and then the gallery is obviously closed for now. You go out back, make some calls, do whatever you want.”

“How exactly do you plan on getting all this stuff out of here?” Simon asks.

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