Page 20 of An Empress of Fire & Steel

“Well, I am not!” She pulled back fully. “In case you have forgotten, there are two people in this relationship, not just you. Your actions have caused this…this rift between us.” Shadows and regret lingered in his eyes as she spoke, turning them a shade of dark jade. She lifted her chin and continued, “I was happy. I was so happy to let you in. But you broke something that I value most.” She wasn’t about to say her heart, so she opted for the second best. “You broke my trust, Gideon, and you can’t take that back. What’s done is done.”

“If I had known that the stone meant that much to you, I would never have gone through with it.” He drew a hand down his face.

Heat, boiling heat, bubbled through her blood, and something under her skin started to prickle. “The fact that you stand there and stay that you would have defied your commander is a downright lie, Gideon Blacksteel, and you know it. You would never defy him, even if he ordered you to give me over to Taymir.”

A flash of rage made itself known on his face. “Don’t you dare say that.”

She had never seen him flare his anger towards her; it took her a few seconds to steady herself.

“I would have done anything to protect you from Taymir, even if it meant exposing myself and what I had done to you. I did what I did to protect you.” He took a step closer, filling her space with muscle and the smell of liquor. “I should never have taken the stone from you. I didn’t know what it meant to you. I should have found another way.”

Emara took a long breath. “Tell me something, Gideon, did your father take the stone to protect me or to keep it for himself?”

Silence filled her room, and Gideon took longer to respond than she thought he would.

“I only knew my father wanted it. I didn’t know his agenda. I promise you, I would never have taken it had I known he would have kept it.”

“Will you stop saying that?” She flung out her hands in frustration and created some space between them. “Do not promise me anything. Your promises are void. It doesn’t matter what the stone meant to me. The fact is that it belonged to me, it belonged to my grandmother, and whilst I was thinking about giving myself to you”—she trembled at the thought—“you were thinking about your mission. About getting close to me, to use me.”

He closed his eyes and spoke on an outbreath. “You are getting it all wrong.”

“Really, Gideon? Am I getting it all wrong? Which part?” A dry wind fluttered past her hair.

“The part where you think I wanted to actively betray you.” His nostrils flared. “I never wanted you to feel like that. What I felt for you was real.” He paused, not taking his eyes from her face. “What I still feel for you is real.” He looked her over, his face hopeful. “I thought I could have told you after—”

“But you didn’t tell me!” she nearly screamed, and even in her rage, she noticed a breeze blow through Gideon’s hair. “You seduced me, almost to the point of no return, for a mission that your father ordered you to do.” She paused, seeing the hurt on his face. “You knew it was wrong. You knew I wouldn’t have given myself to just anyone, and even though we didn’t sleep together, you still worked behind my back.”

“I had no choice,” he exclaimed.

“Everyone has a choice,” she echoed his mother’s words from earlier. “You could have chosen to be my partner and see me as an equal, but you didn’t. You saw me as an object in a game of ‘who can find the ancient relic first.’” He flinched at her words again. “You could have asked me about it and I would have told you. Gods above, I probably would have given it to you had you included me in your mission, because I trusted you. But you didn’t see my worth, only the stone in my possession.”

Gideon’s face paled and as he struggled to find his words, emotion darkened his eyes even more.

“I know you care for me, Gideon. And I do for you, greatly.” She closed the space between them. “My feelings for you haven’t just disappeared. What I felt for you was real too.” She swallowed her admittance. “I just think—”

“It’s too late.” Gideon’s face scrunched in hurt.

“You didn’t even let me finish what I had to say.”

“You don’t need to.” His eyes narrowed. “You are promised to my brother. It is best if you lay your focus there.”

Anger spiked like a spear through her chest, and she stilled. “How dare you tell me where I should lay my focus. How dare you?” She seethed, and the half-awake beast that lay under her skin erupted. “Where I lay my focus is my choice and it always will be. And right now, that focus is going to be on myself. Me. Emara Clearwater.” She pointed so hard into her chest that she flinched, and a gust of wind blew around the room, causing the chiffon curtains to sway. It swirled and gathered like smoke. “I will not be putting my focus into a bloody Blacksteel, that’s for certain. I have learned my lesson there.”

“Calm down, Emara.” His eyes darted around the room, and then back to her.

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” she roared, pinning him with a stare. Air whirled around the room, and she was sure that something fell over and broke, but she was too angry to rip her eyes from his face. Her hands felt warm, dangerously warm. And—

A husky voice broke through the turmoil in her head. A voice that was not Gideon’s.

“Lesson number one, brother.” Torin Blacksteel had somehow opened the door without her hearing or noticing and there he was, striding over to them, his hair blowing in the wind. “Never tell a woman to calm down; it will only make things worse.” He threw a look at Gideon and his brow fell. “Much worse.”

“Great.” Emara threw her hands up. “Now I have two extremely insufferable Blacksteels in my room before dawn.”

“Lucky you.” Torin raised a dark eyebrow as a corner of his mouth turned up. She focused on it long enough to hear the rustle of the wind around her room, and panic broke through her as she acknowledged that the wind was her own element. Torin gave her a wink that suggested that he knew she had it under control.

Talk to it, Naya had said.

Her hands only tightened into fists.

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