Page 110 of An Empress of Fire & Steel

Should she tell him that maybe she did consider having a future with his brother?

I want you to be my future, not because it was forced upon us, but because I would choose you. I would choose you over everything.

Emara knew she should have never let herself feel the things she did for Torin. She had picked Gideon first. She had wanted him, and she would have still wanted him had he not betrayed her. With all that swirling around in her mind, a little pang of guilt questioned, should it just have been Torin from the beginning? Should she never have felt what she did for Gideon?

All said and done, she had wanted Torin even before the waterfall of Uttara washed away her denial.

She had felt that deep connection when she had looked into Gideon’s eyes once. But somewhere in the midst of all her chaos, their connection had weakened. His betrayal had broken anything they’d had left. And Torin had picked up the pieces.

She should have been focusing on gently floating the several feathers that lay on the table in front of her. Why was she so utterly distracted by the turmoil in her heart today?

Sybil’s voice became more apparent than the voice that ranted internally.

“How did you seem more focused in a sparring fight with a whole lot of warriors watching you than you do now?”

Emara looked up at the Earth Witch and the truth fell from her lips. “I had more to lose out there.”

“Did you?” Sybil’s light tone had Emara’s head swirling again.

Did she?

She laughed. “I’m sorry. I am normally very focused when it comes to learning about magic. I am just feeling a little distracted.”

“Is it because Gideon is outside?” Sybil asked.

Emara choked on the breath she had inhaled.

Sybil’s mouth slanted to the side. “He told me about you two.”

Maybe Sybil and Gideon were closer than Emara thought.

Not that that was a bad thing. It was great for Gideon to find comfort with someone, to trust someone, but the comment took her by surprise.

Dread crawled up Emara’s throat as she asked, “What did he say?”

It would be the first time she would be able to hear the words he had said about her, how he truly felt.

The small witch stood silent against the pane of a large window, dwarfing her in size. The winter glare coming through the glass illuminated the vibrant red in her hair. “Look, if you are feeling distracted, we can continue to practise after dinner.” She straightened herself. “You have done a lot of magic in the last couple of days. We can take a break.”

“What did he say?” Emara breathed, closing her eyes. “Is it so bad that you can’t tell me?”

A long moment passed between them before the Earth Witch spoke again. “He didn’t say much more than the facts about what had happened, but I can feel when I look at him that his heart is broken.”

Emara’s eyes fluttered open as her own heart cracked a little.

His betrayal had been the beginning of the cracking in her heart, and Cally’s death had well and truly shattered it. Nothing had been the same after those moments, and her heart never would be the same again.

Sybil spoke once more. “He told me what he did.” She hung her head, playing with a stray feather on the floor with her foot. “And I told him that he was wrong for what he did to you, and that you might forgive him one day. You may just need time.” She paused. “But I can see that…” She trailed off, looking out the window. “I don’t want to offend you.”

Emara swallowed down a feeling of trepidation. “You can see that my heart is somewhere else?”

“Yes,” Sybil said under her breath, meeting her eyes.

Emara’s chest felt extremely heavy, like a lake had frozen on top of her, its weight crushing.

If Sybil, who barely knew her, could see it, then so could Gideon.

“You should not feel guilty of where your heart lies, Emara.” The Empress of Earth held her gaze, her features still soft and soulful.

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