Page 84 of An Empress of Air & Chaos

She crossed her arms over her chest and popped out a hip.

“But just to clarify, I do want it to happen again. The kiss…I have relived that moment over and over in my head since it happened. When we are together, I get this feeling in my gut.” He watched her as he told her the truth, living fully in this moment, “A really good feeling.” He watched as her features changed. She smiled back, giving him an encouraging push. “I guess I am here because I want to let you know something. I know we haven’t known each other all that long, but—”

“But what?”

“I like you.” His gaze held hers. “I like you a lot and I know I shouldn’t. I know I am not supposed to, but I just feel this pull towards you and I can’t explain it. I shouldn’t have kissed you in the gardens, but I couldn’t stop myself. It’s like my body won’t listen to my mind and I had to kiss you.”

She stood in silence.

He didn’t know if it was seconds or hours that had passed by as she watched him before her lips parted, and she spoke.

“I liked that we kissed in the gardens.” She angled her body towards him. “I also like it when we spend time together. And when you push your hand through my hair…”

I’m in trouble.

He had half expected her to make this easier for him and turn him away. But she felt the same. His body urged to go to her. He closed the gap between them, standing only an inch from her face.

“Like this?” He raised his hand into her hair, cradling her skull, pushing through her silky locks.

She melted her body into his, her soft curves contrasting against his hard frame.

“Yes,” she whispered. Her body rested against his, causing him to feel all of her.

He swallowed, trying to control himself.

Why was this harder than one of Viktir’s outside endurance sessions in the depths of winter? He shouldn’t be doing this, but he couldn’t stop.

The guilt of knowing what he needed to do was weighing him down. She didn’t deserve this, even if what he was feeling and had said were true.

“I had to tell you how I felt before I leave tonight. That’s why I am here.”

“Thank you for telling me. But why do I get the feeling that you are saying goodbye?”

His jawline hardened. “Whatever happens tonight, stay in here. There are always Hunters who stay at the Tower to protect it, but don’t go walking around.”

“I don’t go walking around.”

“Marcus informed me otherwise,” he challenged.

She rolled her eyes, clearly knowing that he knew about her expedition out of the Tower for hours.

“I just don’t want to be worrying about you whilst I am out there.”

“I understand.” She nodded, lowering her head. From this angle, it looked like her cheekbones pushed out from her face more than they usually did and he lifted his hand up to cup her cheek.

“Will you wait up for me?” The deceit of the question lay thick on his heart. He knew what he had to do when he came back. He had to complete the mission for Viktir. Find what he was looking for…

He breathed hard as he took in the details of her face again. Did he have to end it? Maybe once the mission was complete he could tell her everything and she would understand. Or maybe he wouldn’t even have to tell her. Hope swelled in his heart. That could be a possibility. No one had to know. Once the mission was done, the deceit could fade into everyday life and be forgotten.

“You want me to wait up tonight?” She inched her face closer, making it even more difficult not to pull her into him completely and kiss her. He could feel himself ducking closer to her lips, but he refrained from brushing them with his.

“Yes, tonight,” he confirmed. “We think it will be a quick hunt with the wolves involved. And I want to see you again.”

For the longest moment, he wished that the Commander had gotten Torin to do the mission. He would have been so much better at it. He didn’t allow himself to get feelings. Ever. Nothing got in his way.

“I will wait for you.” She nodded.

Guilt ripped through him, almost splitting him in half. Why did she have to be so Gods-damned beautiful? And not only that, but a lovely person, too. A frown darkened his face. Viktir was testing him, and he knew it.

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