Page 119 of An Empress of Air & Chaos

“I will be over as soon as I can,” Gideon said, dismissing him.

Torin nodded and set his focus towards Emara. “I am sure I will see you later. Have a nice talk.”

Emara followed him as Torin mingled into the crowd and was then lost.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Gideon move over to the chair beside her with the grace of a cat and her attention followed.

“Hey,” he said sheepishly.

Emara smiled politely but didn’t say anything in return. He looked down at the flute in his hand and swirled the stem between his thumb and index finger.

Is he nervous? Emara thought, taking a sip out of her own glass to fill the gap in the silence.

After a few seconds that felt like minutes she said, “You wanted to talk—so, talk!”

He flinched at the shortness in her tone. She had been so embarrassed about what happened this morning, replaying the situation over and over in her mind the entire day, she couldn’t help but be short. She didn’t understand what was going on between them, and he wasn’t exactly clearing it up. He made her feel like she had somehow misunderstood where things were going this morning.

She knew that she wasn’t imagining the passion between them, but that didn’t explain why he had led her down a path that he had no intention of taking. Hurt stirred in her chest as she studied his face. Was she a fool to think that Gideon had wanted the same moment between them? Had she not read the signals properly?

Kissing down her stomach to her most intimate area certainly wasn’t a sign that he didn’t want it.

“Emara, about this morning…I”—he paused—“it’s just hard because I can’t tell you everything but—but just know that I wanted to go further with you.” His lips thinned into a narrow line. “You expected something more this morning and it wasn’t fair for me to do that. Especially when I had no intention of going any further; we were just fooling around.” He looked up. “For now.”

Fooling around! Just fooling around.

He had no intention of being with her the way she had thought. He had just made himself truly clear that what had happened this morning, to him was just fun.

Emara’s heart sank to the bottom of her stomach. She shook her head in anger as the sting in her eyes formed tears.

He had no intentions of being intimate with her and she had almost given up something that was so precious to her for something that was ‘fooling around’ to him. Why would he do that? Stupidly, she had thought it meant something to both of them.

“No, Gideon, you are right. It wasn’t fair. I said things to you that I have never said to another man. Ever!” I want all of it. She swallowed the memory of her words. “I let you do—ugh! You should never have done what you did this morning. Especially if you had no intentions of— of—”

“Of making love to you?” He completed her sentence. He ran a hand over the back of his neck and let out a sigh. “I told you I wanted to. I just can’t. Not right now, it wouldn’t be right.”

An exasperated sigh fell from her mouth. “I have no idea what that even means, Gideon, and if you think that for one second that that makes me feel any better about myself, then you are wrong. I told you I am not looking to play some stupid game. In fact, I am fairly sure you punched Torin for the same thing. How is that for irony?” She could have cut him in half with the glare she threw his way.

“I am not playing a game with you. I just can’t—”

“Stop being so cryptic.” She allowed the annoyance on her face to take full form. “You can’t say because you have been ordered not to? Am I right?” She raised her eyebrows. “Because, for whatever reason, you are not allowed to say by your father’s orders?” she spat. “I am not a fucking mission, Gideon.” She rose to her feet and his face paled. “Do not treat me like one.” She turned to walk away, and Gideon caught her by the elbow. She yanked it back. “Don’t!”

She heard her name break from his voice as she walked away and didn’t look back. As she worked her way through the socialising crowd, Emara tried to control her anger. She had seen what could happen if she didn’t control herself, and she had no idea how to stop or start her magic as she pleased. It was new. Newer than new. Emara understood that she was amongst the supernatural tonight and didn’t want to make a complete spectacle of herself on her debut into this world.

If she wanted to be a part of this world.

She spotted Cally, who was touching the chest of a dark blonde man who was wearing a taupe suit. Cally caught her eye and smiled, mouthing “You okay?”

Emara nodded and forced a smile as she looked around for a waiter who served those delicious pink flutes.

She had thought about telling Cally everything tonight. So many times, over the last few weeks, she had wanted to burst into conversations and explain everything about her magic, about who she was, but something had held her back. Something that she couldn’t explain. She never kept anything from Cally, and the longer it lay unspoken, the heavier it felt on her chest.

Emara made her way over to the waiter, shoving the image of Gideon’s face to the back of her mind. She swallowed down the truth about who she was for tonight; she could just enjoy tonight as a normal human. Tomorrow, she would tell Cally everything; maybe if she found out whilst she was hungover, she wouldn’t be so angry about her hiding a secret.

Perhaps Cally wouldn’t treat her any differently and nothing would change between them.

She hoped…

As she took a step closer, someone caught her arm, swinging her around to face eyes of sapphire blue. “Is your lovers’ tiff over, or are we still brooding about Gideon not making sweet, passionate love to you?” He pretended to pout.

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