Page 61 of Tactical Revival

“After what you did the other day at church when Chad came after him, and the fact that you used to catch bad guys for a living? Absolutely.”

“I’m no hero.”

“To him you are. Ever since that day at the church when you stepped in. He’s been so angry with Chad, and after that blowup, I’m not sure what Chad would have done if you weren’t there to stop it.” I swallow hard, trying to smother the anger that’s resurfacing. Chad would have physically hurt Matty. Of that, I’m sure. And then my son would wear those emotional scars for the rest of his life.

“Do you think he would have hurt him?” Jaxson asks after swallowing his bite. “Was he ever violent before?”

I hesitate. I’ve never told anyone about Chad hitting me. I thought it was because I was embarrassed, because I didn’t want to be looked at like a victim. But truthfully? I was protecting him. Because I know my brother, and I know what he would do if he found out that Chad ever put hands on me.

I’m so tired of protecting him. “He hit me once.”

Jaxson’s gaze turns murderous, and he slowly lowers his fork. “When?”

“The day I kicked him out. I’d ignored the cheating. The violent outbursts where he’d scream at me or throw things. But when he put his hands on me, all I saw was Matty getting hit. Matty witnessing it. I knew I couldn’t let him experience that, so I told Chad if he didn’t leave, I was calling Michael.” I laugh nervously, then put some food on my fork even though the vulnerability I feel right now as I pour my words out to Jaxson has made me anything but hungry. “Chad might not be afraid of much, but he’s terrified of my big brother.”

Jaxson reaches across the table and covers my hand with his. “I am so sorry, Margot.”

“I didn’t want to say anything before because?—”

“Michael,” Jaxson finishes.

“Yeah.” I smile at him, surprised at how much relief I feel just sharing this with someone. “I never want my brother to suffer because of something that I caused.”

He withdraws his hand and takes a bite of food as the words hang between us. Then he takes a drink of water and says, “You think it’s your fault he hit you?”

“No. Not that. But I married Chad. Even though my parents asked me not to. Michael was already gone by then, and they told me that I could stay with them. That I didn’t have to get married just because I’d gotten pregnant.” I swallow hard, feeling the shame resurfacing. I hadn’t wanted to sleep with Chad that night, but I’d been so afraid he’d walk away from me if I didn’t that I gave in.

I listened when he promised me forever.

Cried silently as he used my body.

Then felt even more shame when the pregnancy test came back positive.

“We’ve all done things we regret, but you got a great deal on that one because you got Matty.”

I smile at him now, then quickly wipe my eyes as tears threaten to fall. “You are absolutely correct. I can’t even say I regret it because I love my son with everything that I am. He’s my whole world. And even though things with Chad turned out the way they did, I am grateful that God blessed me with my son.”

Jaxson takes a bite of his salad. “I am too. Kid is great company.”

I doubt he realizes just how much his words mean to me, and I can’t bring myself to speak it out loud without tearing up again. God has always been there for me. Even during the darkest moments of my life, when I felt like I was walking the road alone, I knew He was there. And that’s what’s helped me get through.

The knowledge that my sins have been washed clean by the love and sacrifice of Jesus. That God has a plan and has been with me every single step of the way.

“I told you all about my marriage going up in flames. About Rosalie’s cheating.”

“And her abandoning you,” I add, still furious at the woman for what she’d done. Letting her walk out the door without giving her a piece of my mind was harder than I thought it would be.

But saying anything to her now wouldn’t fix the past. And there’s a part of me that’s glad she turned her back on him.

Because now he’s here…with me. Even if we are just friends.

Still, my heart aches for him. For the man who nearly died serving his country, then came home only to be shoved aside by the woman who vowed to love him forever. Who does that? What type of person would treat the man they love that way?

“It is all part of God’s plan—Lance helped me see that. He came out after she left and stayed with me as I recovered, even though he was barely out of the hospital himself. It’s his faith, and his guiding me to my own, that kept me alive. And thanks to God, I not only walked again, but I’m doing things every day the doctors claimed would be impossible.”

“You said your brother was there, too?”

He nods. “But he was in college at the time, so he couldn’t be there all the time. Lance was. His parents even flew out to help, and I’d never met them before.”

---