Page 36 of Second Chance Serenity

“I suppose I left because I thought he was right.”

“Yet you didn’t play football.”

“I never wanted to play,” I tell him. “I was content working at the shop with Henry. I was happy with Reyna.”

“You ran from your father.”

“Which is stupid, I suppose. I know that now. But it felt so suffocating back then. Like by marrying Reyna, I would be proving him right. But I had no interest in playing professional ball.”

“Oftentimes our parents don’t realize that they’re trying to force us down a path we don’t feel called to take. Did you feel called to the service?”

I sigh. “Honestly? I’m not sure. I got scared, and it was the fastest way out of town.”

“Do you regret the time you served?”

I consider his question. “No. I regret leaving Reyna behind, walking away without saying goodbye, but I’m proud of the time I spent in the service. Of the men I served with.”

“How has your father been since you’ve been home?”

“Distant. But that’s not unusual given everything he’s dealing with. He told me he was glad I didn’t die, which for him these days is a declaration of affection.”

The pastor chuckles. “Your father has never been great with words.”

“Understatement.”

We sit in silence for a few minutes, both of us staring straight ahead. “You said you were angry with God.”

“Reyna could have died in that parking lot. Or been taken and suffered horribly.” Just saying it brings a fresh wave of anger rushing through me.

“But you saved her.”

“And had I been even a minute later, she wouldn’t be here. It doesn’t make sense. Reyna does more for this community than nearly anyone else. She helps, volunteers, works at the school. Why her?”

“Why would anyone suffer such a fate?” Pastor Redding asks.

“Exactly. It’s just—I’ve seen horrible things happen,” I tell him. “And Reyna—she deserves better.”

The pastor sighs and nods in understanding. “All I can tell you is that sometimes horrible things happen and there seems to be no explanation for it. But God uses our pain, or distress, to bring us closer to Him. You’ve spent your adult life punishing yourself for walking away from the girl you loved. For all intents and purposes, you shouldn’t have been driving by that school at the exact time she needed you, yet you were.”

“One minute later,” I say again, fear at the mere idea of something happening to Reyna clawing at my throat.

“You weren’t one minute later,” he says softly. “You arrived right on time because God led you to her in her time of need.”

“She never should have been in danger to begin with.”

“People do bad things because people are sinful, Michael. There is no escape from that in this world. But turning away from Him in your time of pain is only going to bring you more agony in the end."

"And my anger? How do I handle that? Because I’ve been struggling with the desire to hunt and kill the man responsible for her pain.”

The pastor doesn’t look the least bit fazed by my confession. “‘Do not take revenge,my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’says the Lord.On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.’”

“Romans,” I comment. “It’s one I’ve turned to more than once since she was attacked. But I can tell you now, I’m not near strong enough to offer her attacker something to drink.”

Pastor Redding chuckles. “You’re a good man, Michael Anderson. Being angry does not change that. And if anyone can overcome the evil she suffered with good, it’s you. You just won’t be able to do it alone.” He points toward the ceiling. “Ask for help. For guidance.”

I stare at the cross directly in front of me. Suffering is a part of life. That’s something I came to terms with a long time ago. And the truth is, I did get to the school in time to save Reyna. But what if I’m not where I need to be the next time something happens?

What if—next time—I’m too late?

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