Page 7 of Adoring Delaney

Dinner conversation flowed, he told me about his brother and family, they were all close and he obviously loved them deeply. I told him about my brother, and three sisters. It was nice. Pleasant. Enjoyable.

What it wasn’t was fireworks and chemistry.

Then the topic changed to past relationships and once again, I was uneasy.

“What about you? Any long-term boyfriends?”

Steve asked that after he’d explained why for a period of time he’d stopped asking me out. He’d gotten into a relationship and it had lasted six months. He’d ended it a month ago. Now he wanted to know about me.

“No,” I semi-lied.

Which probably wasn’t the best way to start off seeing someone, that was if that was what we were starting. But I didn’t want to think about Carter, or discuss him. And it was only a slight mistruth. Carter had never been my boyfriend. He’d been the man I was in love with, carried on an exclusive affair with for eight years, the man who’d taken my virginity, and the only man I’d ever slept with. But he’d never been my boyfriend and that had been Steve’s question.

“Seriously? You’re smart, funny, and beautiful. I can’t see how that’s possible.”

Because I’d stupidly fallen in love with my childhood best friend and never let it go.

Steve being the nice guy he was and sensing again my need to change the subject, moved us on to something trivial. We’d talked about summer plans, both of us ecstatic the school year was coming to an end. He was going to teach summer school, I thankfully was not.

I was taking the summer to explore. I had a few weekend trips planned and a multi-state road trip. All of this was going to be solo. My younger sisters had offered to travel with me since they’d both graduated college and were looking for something to do before they entered the workforce.

I’d declined. They were both disappointed but I wanted to be alone. I needed it. This summer especially. The flutter in my belly reminding me why.

Gone.

After dinner Steve walked me to my car, told me he had a great time, and asked if he could call me tomorrow. I told him yes, he kissed my forehead, which was sweet but didn’t set off the butterflies and excitement the way Carter’s kisses had.

Damn, I need to stop that.

Steve shut my door, waited for me to back out before he walked to his own car. Total gentleman.

But I felt nothing beyond friendship.

There had to be something seriously wrong with me, to prefer to spend my nights alone, waiting for Carter to reach out. In any form that came. Someone should commit me to the looney bin—that’s how crazy I am.

I drove home in a daze, feeling guilty about stuff I had no business feeling guilty about. I’d never made any promises to Carter. Not in the eight years since I’d given him my virginity. Not because I hadn’t wanted to but because he’d refused to accept them. That didn’t mean I wasn’t faithful, I was. I don’t know if Carter had been with other women, he never said. The thought made me physically ill so I’d never asked. Stupid, stupid me.

I parked my car and made a decision. If Steve called and asked me out again, I was going to say yes. This dating stuff would get easier. It had to.

2

“Say again?”

“You heard me, brother. What did you think? She was going to sit around and wait for you for the rest of her life? Actually I’m shocked it didn’t happen sooner,” Ethan told me.

“A date?” I growled.

“Not just one. Multiple.”

“What the fuck?”

“Carter…” My brother’s tone changed. The softness and understanding pissed me off. “I’m sorry. I wanted to be the one to tell you. We all knew something had changed when that dick Derek Lowe took her and Mercy. And then months passed and the wedding….” He trailed off.

Yeah, the wedding. He didn’t need to elaborate. I remembered the goddamned wedding like it was an hour ago. I remembered every pained word Delaney said, every one of them a bullet piercing my soul. I would also never forget what the dick Lowe had done to my woman. If Mercy hadn’t ended his life that day, I would’ve.

Ethan was right, something drastic had changed. Everyone knew it, saw it, asked about it but Delaney had refused to talk about it. It went beyond the terror of being kidnapped and beaten, something had broken inside of her and months later it was deep and not getting any better.

“Still haven’t heard from her?” Ethan gently asked.

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