Page 19 of Adoring Delaney

Now he was invading my life at the worst possible time.

“Laney,” he snapped.

My eyes focused on him and I got mad. Furious. Same shit.

“Get the hell out.”

“I keep telling you, baby, we need to talk.”

“Why, Carter? Why now? I don’t understand. I’ve been begging, actual begging has occurred, for you to talk to me but you always refused. Years, I’ve tried and you’ve shut me down. Hell, I couldn’t even ask you when the next time you’d be home was. Or how long you’d be gone on deployment, or where. Nothing. I got nothing out of you.”

“You got everything. All I could give.”

“Well, sorry, Carter, but it wasn’t enough. Not then, not now.”

“Laney, baby, I know I was wrong. I should’ve never pushed you away. I see it now. I know I should’ve—”

“Too fucking late!” I yelled.

“It’s not. I’ll make it up to you. I’ll fix it. Please just give me the chance to prove—”

There it was again—fix it.

“You cannot fix this. You can’t fix what I’ve broken. You can’t make this better. It’s gone. There’s nothing left.”

I felt myself falling apart. Everything was bearing down on me at once. The words I’d been waiting to hear on the tip of his tongue, the emotion in his voice, the concern in his eyes. I’d waited forever to hear him say he’d been wrong and he was ready for us. But it was too late. I’d ruined it.

“Laney, what’d you break?”

“Us. I broke us.”

“That’s impossible.” He had no idea what he was talking about. “We can make it through anything.”

No, we couldn’t. Not this.

“I’m out of the Navy. I’m home.”

His announcement was like a physical blow.

“What?” I whispered.

“We can….”

I stumbled back, felt the back of my knees hit the chair, and thank God it was there or I would’ve landed on the floor. I plopped my ass down and hung my head.

Why was this happening to me? Why was I being punished?

“Laney?”

Carter was in front of me in a crouch, his hand was coming up and I had to put a stop to this. All of it. I was dangerously close to losing it.

“Don’t touch me.”

He ignored my demand and his palm cupped my cheek and his thumb brushed away the tears.

“Tell me.”

God, he was beautiful. Everything I’d ever wanted. Everything I could never have.