Page 87 of Riot

So why don’t I?

Why must I endure a life filled with tragedy and pain? Do I get a taste of happiness just for it all to be taken away again? What kind of fucked-up world is this where people who hurt others get to live long, blissful lives, yet I’m stuck suffering alone?

It’s fucking bullshit.

“What now?” Elijah asks tiredly.

“Now I’m done. Take me home to him.”

“Fallon.”

I ignore him, my eyes drifting to the window.

Kage is my home and always will be. I want to go home.

I want to go to sleep and never wake up.

I want to be at his side.

FORTY-THREE

Idream of him. His warm hand cups my cheek, and he has a bright smile on his face. I don’t ever want to wake up. I lean into his hand, soaking in his warmth and his familiar smile, even though he smells odd, like antiseptic.

“Fallon.” His voice sounds wrong, distant, and he starts to fade.

“No, don’t go,” I beg, trying to hold onto him, but he fades into mist, and my head jerks up from where it was resting on the hospital bed. I was asleep?

It was a dream. This is still a dream. He’s looking at me, his hand reaching for me as his lips tilt up. “Fallon.”

I blink at his pale yet smiling face. “It’s just a dream. It’s not real,” I tell him. “You’re . . .”

“Apparently not dead,” he jokes.

“Impossible,” I whisper brokenly. “It’s a dream. They told me there was no hope, that you wouldn’t wake up and you were as good as dead.”

“Baby, you should know better than to give up on me.” His hand finally touches me, cool but alive. I jerk back, falling from my chair. I made Elijah bring me back here despite the doctors’ warnings. They said he lost too much blood, and after the surgeries, they didn’t think he would wake up, but they tried anyway.

There was hope, just a spark, but I squashed it. He was dead. He was lifeless. I checked myself. I screamed and cried and begged, and he didn’t wake up.

“No, this is a dream, just a mean fucking dream,” I whisper, tears falling once more. At this point, though, I don’t know how I’m still able to cry. “But still, I’ll take it. I’ll live in this dream with you if I have to.”

“Then come here.” He holds out his hand. He’s lying on his hospital bed, machines beeping at his side. Shouldn’t he have the thingy in his nose and mouth? I suppose since it’s a dream, he took it out so he could talk. I shuffle closer.

“A mean dream,” I murmur, “but I don’t care. I love you, Kage. I need you to know that. I love you, and I’ll stay right here with you.” I grasp his hand, clinging to him even if this isn’t real.

“Does this feel like a dream?” He squeezes my hand and tugs me closer. “Don’t I feel real? How about now?” He pulls me down and kisses me softly. “Do I taste like a dream?” he murmurs against my lips. “I’m alive, baby. Now what’s this about you loving me?”

“It’s you. It’s really you,” I whisper, my eyes widening. “You’re awake!”

He laughs, but I try to stumble away.

“Doctors!” I yell.

“They came in while you were sleeping, apparently just as shocked as you were. I have a long road of recovery ahead of me, but I’m stubborn and alive. How could I leave you when you asked me to stay?” He pulls me back to his side. “Just come here and hold me, that’s all I need. Just stay right here forever.”

“I promise.” I lean in, looking into his eyes. “Are you really okay?”

“I’m okay, sweetheart,” he vows, kissing me again. “Now, about this love?—”

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