Page 40 of Reclaim Me

“How is it different?”

“Well, for starters, your dad isn’t in heaven.”

“Where is he?”

Here it is. The hardest part of this conversation. I run a hand down my neck and over my racing pulse. “He’s here, in New Haven.”

Sparks of wonder and excitement turn Riley’s eyes bright. “Really?”

“Yep.” I cough, pushing the words out past the lump in my throat that’s made purely of fear because Riley has the same look in her eyes that Hunter did when the truth came out. It’s steely resolve that tells me this train is moving full speed ahead whether I want it to or not.

“Can I see him?”

“Of course, you can.”

“Right now?” She jumps out of her swing, and in an instant, she’s standing in front of me, bouncing on her toes with excitement. “Can we go see him now?”

I should have expected this. Patience has never been a strong suit for Riley. Yet another thing she gets from Hunter. I open my mouth to tell her that we’ve had enough excitement and revelations for one day, but then I remember that she’s been waiting her whole life for this, and I don’t have the heart to make her wait anymore.

“Sure, Nugget.”

I push to my feet and grab her by the hand. We’re almost to the car when her steps slow to a stop, and she tugs on my arm. When our eyes meet, there’s doubt swimming in her irises. Lowering myself down to her level, I search her face for any clues as to what’s changed in the last sixty seconds and come up empty.

“What is it, Ri?”

“Does he love me?”

The question hits me right in the center of my chest, setting free a wave of shame stronger than any I’ve ever felt before. The consequences of my actions, of Hunter’s choices, of our mistakes, are staring me right in the face, reflected in my daughter’s questioning gaze, and while I’m sad she even has to ask, I’m happy to know the answer.

“Oh, honey. When you meet him, you’ll see that you’ve got your dad’s eyes and his ridiculously thick eyebrows—” Riley giggles when I make my brows wiggle “—but most importantly, you’ll see that you have his heart.”

15

HUNTER

Now

“Ihave questions.”

Rae’s voice pulls my attention to the door of my office, where she’s currently standing with her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. It’s been nearly a week since I last saw her, but her random statement makes it seem like we’re in the middle of a conversation instead of at the beginning of one.

Dropping the pen in my hand onto the stack of papers on my desk, I gesture for her to come in and take a seat. To my surprise, she doesn’t argue, opting to perch on the edge of my uncomfortable couch instead of one of the armchairs I got the other day. Taurin said it would have made more sense for me to get the armchairs and toss the couch, but I couldn’t bring myself to part with it.

I have a lot of good memories on that couch, and most of them involve the woman sitting on it now with her legs crossed and her spine straight. There’s no tension in her posture, just the kind of rigid perfection ballerinas exhibit even when they’re not on the stage. With Rae settled in her seat, I choose to follow her lead, diving right into the conversation with no formalities or pretenses.

“I’ve been clean for ten years, three months, and” —I glance at the calendar, wanting to be as accurate as possible— “thirteen days. I go to meetings once a week—more often now that you’re back in town—and have regular check-ins with Nate. He said that he’d be more than happy to talk to you about my recovery, and I’ve also asked some of my sponsees if they’d be willing to speak to you too. They all agreed, but if you want to be sure you’re getting an unbiased opinion, I could give you Mallory’s number.”

When I reach for my phone, Rae shakes her head. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Then what do I have to do, Rae?” Desperation coats each word. I’ve waited for this moment for so long, hoping, praying, wishing that it would come, and now that it might be here, I’m eager to give her whatever she needs to see this through. “Tell me what you need to see, what you want to know because I’ll do anything if it gets me her.”

Rae’s eyes shine with emotion. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

“I’ve never meant anything more.”

She rests her elbow on her knee and plops her chin into her palm then shakes her head. “Damn, you two have made this entire thing surprisingly easy.”

I assume she’s talking about me and Riley because the alternative means having to think about her little boyfriend, Aaron, and that’s the last thing I want to do today. I don’t like the guy, and one day, when Rae and I are more settled into this co-parenting thing, I’m going to tell her that he doesn’t deserve her or Riley.

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