Page 30 of Reclaim Me

12

RAE

Now

“I’d put barres along this wall and mirrors on the opposite side so the girls can see themselves and make the necessary adjustments to their form.”

With a grand sweep of my arm, I gesture to the wall of exposed brick and large, arched windows, letting in generous beams of natural sunlight I already know will make this space that much more magical when it’s filled with the soft swishes of ballet skirts and little faces pinched with determination as they try to master fifth position. Aaron looks at the wall, too, but it’s clear from his flat expression that he doesn’t see what I see. Still, I continue, hoping that my words will help him see my vision.

“Oh! I forgot to mention that along with the reception area up front, we’ll also sell pointe shoes with prep guides for the parents so they know how to get the shoes ready for the kids to wear, leotards, skirts, and t-shirts, hats, and bags all with the school logo.”

I’m talking a mile a minute, an almost child-like excitement building in my voice with every idea that pops into my mind and flows off my tongue. Still, Aaron’s face remains flat. Finally, when I can’t take anymore, I march across the room to him and pin him with a hard stare.

“What’s wrong?”

I feel like I’ve asked him that question a million times in the weeks since I laid myself bare in his office and gave him every sordid detail of my past with Hunter. Every now and again, I’ll catch him just staring at me with this look on his face I don’t understand and refuse to examine too closely because I’m scared I might not like what I find. When I ask him about it, he always says he’s fine, so I leave it alone, hoping that with enough time and space, he’ll work it out and come back to me.

In the meantime, I’ve been focusing on making my way back to myself because somewhere between the move, running into Hunter, trying not to strangle Marcy, getting Riley settled into her new school, and things falling apart with Aaron, I lost myself. I didn’t really realize it until I picked Riley up from school after a full day of trying to make up with Aaron and warning Hunter away, but listening to her talk about her new best friend, Scarlett, and the robotics club she wants to join, made it clear that everyone has found their path in New Haven except for me.

Hunter’s gym is doing better than ever. A quick Google search told me that in addition to the expansion of his original space, he’s also opened multiple locations across the state.

Aaron’s got his VP title and the corner office he’s always dreamed of.

Marcy is living the high life and annoying the ever-living fuck out of me.

Riley is thriving in an entirely new environment and making new friends every day.

And I’m just…here. Flitting around from one place to the next, solving problems, issuing warnings, soothing egos, and missing the one thing that makes me feel like myself: ballet.

The idea of the school came to me during a conversation with Dee’s sister Jayla, who spent the entirety of Riley’s play date with her daughter, Sonia, plying me with margaritas and town gossip while we FaceTimed with Dee, who was also partaking in Margarita Monday. I was explaining to them how much I miss dance when Jayla told me that she and a few other moms at Sonia’s current ballet school were fed up with the attitudes they were getting from the lead teacher, Lena. Somewhere between Jayla’s frustration and my longing for purpose, the idea of opening my own school was born. When I awoke the next morning, I was hungover but determined to make it become a reality.

It took me forever to find the perfect spot, and now that I’m here, standing in the middle of my dream, I’m a little frustrated that I have to pause to pull Aaron out of his feelings.

“Have you thought about how much this is going to cost?” he asks finally, his hands shoved into the pockets of the designer suit with a price tag that’s the equivalent of a month’s rent for most people.

“I’ve run the numbers, and I have enough in my savings to cover start-up costs and the first six months of operating costs.”

Just enough.

If I don’t spend another dollar out of it.

Aaron raises a brow. “The savings you’re currently paying your half of our monthly expenses out of?”

My jaw clenches as I try to reign in my temper. I hate when he asks me questions we both already know the answer to. “Yes, Aaron, that same savings.”

He nods, but there’s no acceptance or support in the action, only condescension that he aims right at me with his next question. “So which one of our bills are we going to forgo paying to cover this dream of yours, Rae? The mortgage? My car note? Riley’s tuition?”

“Aaron, please, stop being so dramatic.”

“I’m not being dramatic. I’m being realistic” He widens his stance and lifts his shoulders in an exasperated shrug. “Go ahead, pick one.”

The gauntlet he’s just thrown lands at my feet, and my better angels appeal to me to leave it there, to do what’s necessary to restore the peace Aaron has taken so much pleasure in destroying. I want to listen to them, but I can’t, probably because something about Riley’s tuition—which Aaron promised would be taken care of even after my savings ran out—being on that list unhinges me.

I run my tongue across my teeth and huff out an outraged laugh.

“If I had to choose, I’d probably start with the whole slew of bills we’re paying for your mother. Then, I’d eliminate the membership fees for the country club you only got to impress your co-workers and the gym you’ve never set foot in. And if we still needed to tighten our belts a little more, I’d sell our five-bedroom house and move our family of three into a house that doesn’t have a four hundred dollar HOA fee attached to it.”

Shock takes over his features before they morph into a disappointed glare. “We’re not having this conversation again.”

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