Page 75 of Sleep

“Maybe tomorrow, when I have my thoughts in a better place.”

“I’ll be here.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m going to go home tomorrow. I need to spend a bit of time with my parents, do their shopping again and…if it’s still all right, pick up some more things. You know. Essentials? Dusters. Mop. Washing-up brush. I have all that from my old flat. You’ll hate me, cluttering up your neat space here.”

“I’ll actually love seeing your things here. Honestly. I’m done with living in a shell. I want a home.”

“A home? That, my darling, we can do. Complete with dirty underwear on the floor.”

“Socks in the corner?” I laughed, removing my socks and hurling them toward the kitchen.

“Towels left wherever they fall…” On cue, their towel landed in a crumpled heap and they walked off, wiggling that gorgeous bum at me.

Still laughing, I threw myself in the shower to wash the day off from my skin, all those small stresses going down the drain. Based on past experience, I should have been in a panic. I wasn’t, but I still took my sleeping tablet. Doctor’s orders. No cold turkey allowed. Trust the process. Let your body adjust.

I hoped I was adjusting, that my body was following my mind, because I felt at peace. God, how I had longed for this.

“How old are the kids?” Mabel asked as I crawled under the duvet beside them, naked. It was nothing Jenny hadn’t seen before.

“Two. I was there when they were born. I hadn’t intended to be, and I was very reluctant at first, but Jenny needed me. There’s something about a friend putting that kind of trust in you changes you as a human being. It definitely changed me seeing those two born. I was the first to hold them. I was never the same after that, and I developed a great deal affection for them.”

“Good for you.”

“It was, very much so. Jenny and I were close before that, but we’ve been through a lot, the good and the bad. She’s my employee and I’m her boss, and we have a firm boundary line. At six p.m., we pack that boundary line away. It works for us. We’re friends.”

“We all need good friends.”

“We also all need someone to be more than friends with. I still can’t believe I met you.”

“I’m right here, Jonny. Even though your mother called me a gold-digging tramp.”

“Perhaps I should sack her too.”

We both snorted with laughter at that—quietly. The kids slept on. I could hardly believe it. I had my own little family here with me.

“You can’t sack your mum,” Mabel said after a while. “She’s a hoot. Give me a few months to peg her down a notch or two, and I’ll have her eating out of my hand.”

“I don’t doubt that. Look what you did to me.”

“I charmed you, and you charmed me right back. All grumpy in that awful tracksuit. I can’t believe I fell for it. Yet here I am, naked in bed with you.”

“No funny business.”

“No, not tonight.”

“I…I liked what we did,” I admitted, or confirmed, since it had been obvious at the time how much I’d liked it.

“You like being told what to do,” they pointed out.

“Yes. I can’t explain it. I suppose like you, I find it difficult to jump. I need to be pushed. It’s…a turn-on. I always wanted someone else to take control. I have no idea what I’m doing…in the bedroom.”

“So you want me to take control?”

“Sometimes. Push me to try things. Explore.”

“That, my darling…” They were up on their elbow, making themselves comfortable against the pillows. Soft. Fluffy. Not feather. “I have a question.”

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