Page 74 of Sleep

“Cheap, fluffy things from IKEA,” Mabel said. “Not feather because you’re allergic.”

“Yes,” I confirmed.

“I’ll sort it,” they said, pushing up their sleeves. “We need to figure out some dinner for later, and…where do these kids sleep?” Their hands were on my elbows, supporting my arms, like we were all in an embrace.

“In my bedroom. Along the back wall. They have cots.”

“Cots.”

“So no…hanky-panky,” I spluttered out. How Jenny trusted me with her children was sometimes beyond my understanding.

“Blimey, Jonny. Of course not. Oh!” They expertly caught the child as it dived into their warms. “Hello. I’m Mabel. Who are you?”

“Fliiica.”

“Fliica…” Mabel whispered. “It’s very nice to meet you. We’re going to be friends, okay? And who’s this little one?”

“Flazzzej,” the other twin piped up.

“Flazzej. Nice names. Jonny. Can you translate?”

“Felicia and Frazer.” I grinned. I loved this. I truly did. “Jenny dresses them identically on purpose. I can never tell them apart.”

Mabel nodded. “Blue sleeves,” they said, pointing to Felicia. “Pink sleeves.” Those were Frazer’s. “Well then, Felicia and Frazer. Do you like strawberries? I have some in the fridge. Why don’t you help me wipe down this table, and then you can tell me all about yourselves.” They leaned in, planting a soft kiss on my lips—a quick one, but still wonderful.

“I love you,” I said, and I meant it. I absolutely did.

“Me too.” They laughed. “Now, where will I find a duster? A rag? Kitchen roll?”

I had none of those, but that didn’t seem to matter. The twins toddled around after Mabel, ‘helping’ to clean the table and distributing strawberries between four bowls while they chattered away, most of it indecipherable to me, but Mabel could understand them, no trouble at all. What seemed like minutes later but was actually hours, we had two sleeping toddlers in their cots, and Mabel took a shower, emerging with a towel around their waist.

God. I loved seeing them like this. Bare. Nude. So much beauty. Totty. Really, I should have fired Jasper years ago, because what an insult that term was. This was my beautiful partner, a vision of pale skin and blonde hair and arms and legs for days. Everything in one perfect package.

“Stop staring, Jonny.”

“Can’t help it.” I smiled, finally pulling my poor abused tie from my neck. “I dread evenings. I’m usually in an absolute panic by now. You have no idea how much it helps having you here.”

“Funny that.” A kiss. “I’ve been looking forward to tonight all day. Just lying in your arms, us talking, like we do. It’s my favourite part of the day…with you.”

“Mine too,” I echoed. All that fear, mellowed only by this. Them. Being right here. “I’ve always hated nighttime, left alone in a bedroom that was far too big for a small child, abandoned to my fate until morning when Nanny would march in and scare the living daylights out of me with her curtain-pulling and booming voice. Then I was sent off to boarding school.”

It was so easy with them, sharing my childhood woes.

“You were lucky,” they said with a wink. “I shared a bed with my parents until I was almost ten—no wonder I’m an only child.”

I laughed, as did they.

“I was very anxious and well,” they admitted. “But we’re not designed to sleep alone. Humans are pack animals. We’re supposed to pile up for warmth and safety. Defence. It’s in our genes, and there’s is no reason to fight it. That’s what my father’s always said.”

“Jenny would agree with him. She still does the co-sleeping thing. Them staying here is the only chance she gets to have her bed to herself.”

“I really like her.”

“You won’t like her so much at six in the morning when she barges in to retrieve her children so she can have them in nursery for eight-thirty and be on the phone to me minutes later, demanding all sorts. I sacked someone today. We’ll be completely swamped by legal tomorrow. Not good. But necessary.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Such a small sentence. I swallowed down like medicine.

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