Page 52 of Sleep

“I will always fight for you. With you. Against you. And it is toxic, Mabs. You can see that, can’t you? It has to stop. I need to be married to Mark and live my life. And you need to be living a life that makes you happy instead of being Mark’s emotional punch bag.”

I blew out air, rolled my eyes—my normal reaction to being gut-punched with truths. I’d had too many of those lately, and I was truly sick and tired of them. Truths. I almost wanted to laugh because my whole life was a bunch of fucking lies.

“If it makes you feel better, he didn’t tell Ben either,” Finley said.

“Bet that went down well,” I muttered, and it did make me feel a little better. Mark was closer to Ben than anyone.

“Hugo wasn’t happy with me. Tabitha threatened to resign. She had a dress picked out, time off booked. I know we both fucked around with this, but—”

I help up my hand to stop him. “Your day. Your decision.”

“Yup.”

“So what happens now?”

“Well. Mark is too chicken to do anything. He’s put you down as long-term sick, and HR is breathing down his neck for paperwork. Normally, I’d tell him to sort it out, but…well. It’s you.”

“I’m not coming back.”

“I won’t let you. If you go anywhere near that place, I’ll have security throw you out.”

“Finny—”

“You’re better than this. So much better than this. And I know your life is up in the air right now, which is why there’s no better time than this. You’re not meant to be some waiter, Mabs. You have so much. So many wonderful skills. You need to jump. And you know me, I’ve looked into things and have ideas. I can tell you exactly what I think you should do, but…”

“That’s not your decision. Not your place.”

“Not anymore. Don’t blow this chance. Grab it. Go live, without Mark. Without me. No safety net. Just fucking jump, Mabel.”

“And you? Are you going to jump?”

“I already have. Because I’m going to be on the other side, holding Mark together without you. He’s never lived like a grown-up without you holding his hand. It’s a big step for him too. But it’s time. I have to learn to do this too. Properly. Be Mark’s husband instead of Mabel’s fucked-up, toxic piece-of-shit ex.”

“You are toxic.”

“Toxic AF.”

“At least we agree on something.”

“Yes. And it’s terrifying. It really is, Mabel, but you can do this. You can go out there and finally let someone else in. Someone who will love you and lift you up and just…”

“You still love me.”

“Of course I do. I always will.”

“Bastard.”

“Which is why you have to let me go too. Cut the strings. Cut the guilt for good.”

“I cut the guilt years ago, babe.”

“Of course you did. That’s why the two of us are still here, stewing in our usual toxic soup. I felt like I was going to throw up, driving out here. The guilt is real, and it needs to stop.”

“Being idiots needs to stop,” my dad cut in, shuffling into the room in his slippers. “I lost my tablet. I bet one of you is sitting on it.”

“It’s in the hallway,” I said. “I saw it when I came in.”

Dad grunted and shuffled back the way he’d come, muttering, “You two are still the same. And don’t look at me like that. One day, you’ll be shuffling around in your slippers, looking for your tablet, just like your old man. Calling people names…idiots.” Dad slammed the kitchen door behind him.

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