Page 92 of Sleep

“Please.” The word escaped amongst my breaths as I shuffled back on the bed and lay down. They kneeled over me, and in that moment, my life became something completely different. My lower regions were on full alert; my legs spread without conscious effort, my hips lifting as they bent to deliver a hard, needy kiss.

I trailed my fingers along the bra straps, feeling, admiring the contrast of smooth, creamy skin and jet-black lace.

“I love you so much it’s terrifying,” I admitted.

“Oh, Jonny.” They smiled so sweetly. “It’s terrifying for me too, but also so very, very lovely.”

“You’re…my kink.”

“Am I now?”

“All the lovely things you are. Mine.” Did I even know what I was talking about? Not a clue! But looking at that incredible smile, I was glad I’d said it.

“Now,” they said, and I felt the shift as they took charge, “you’re going to lie back here and relax, let me look after you. If anything is too much, just say stop or raise your hand.”

“I trust you,” I said. How could I not when they were looking at me like that. So much love in those eyes. Green. They were green. How had I not known that? Or perhaps I had. They had brought so much colour to my life, it was hard to keep inventory.

“After all my years of struggling to sleep, now it feels like I’m just waking up.”

Fingers stroked down my chest, soft, familiar yet different. A laced glove.

“Thought you’d appreciate them,” they hummed, a small smile playing on their lips as I lifted their hand and kissed their palm. The roughness of the fabric was exquisite against my skin. “And I get the sleep metaphor,” they continued. “Sometimes we have no idea what we need until it’s right in front of us. Had you not taken that first step of bringing me home with you, running after me and forcing me to see what was right in front of me, I might have lost you. That thought is what scares me the most now. That I almost missed what was right here. You.”

“I’m here,” I whispered, too overcome to speak. Touches. Words. Feelings.

They felt them too. I knew because I could see what it was doing to them, could feel it in their kisses, soft then firm, then trailing down my chest, and that lacy glove, their hand wrapping around me. Oh…

Oh yes.

“I think we need to do more things like this and—”

“Yes.”

“Yes to more things or yes to whatever I’m about to say?”

“Yes.”

They laughed. “I think this is my kink. You letting me do all this to you.”

“You can do whatever you want.”

“Careful what you wish for.”

“I wish for it all,” I said, arching from the mattress and thrusting into their gloved hand. I had no idea who this Jonathan was or where he’d come from, but I liked him.

I didn’t think much more after that because I simply didn’t have to. Safe in Mabel’s care, I let my body take over. My senses registered every little touch—how their lips felt against my skin, their tongue lapping over parts of me I hadn’t known needed tasting. For the briefest second, shame flashed through my mind and my head shot up , but I was told in ono uncertain terms to lie back. Indeed, I was given little choice but to do so when, with a firm hold on my hips, they tugged me further down the bed and spread my legs.

Oh…fuck.

I never used that kind of crude language—the syllables felt vulgar in my mouth—but that was the only word that came to mind as something pushed against my opening, a soft tap, followed by something being smeared around down there. Rather than shout out, I focused on breathing, much as I would when having a panic attack.

“Good job,” they praised me. “Try to relax. I’m not going to hurt you. Just let me touch you, and you’ll find that some of those lovely nerve endings will reward your braveness.”

I had a full erection, a desperately tense feeling down below. I think I made another noise, though I couldn’t be sure. They were still talking, and it was all I could do to listen.

“I wish when I was younger that someone had taken the time with me like this. Shown me what my body could do with the right frame of mind. I didn’t, and it ruined the whole experience for me for a while. It was only when I met new partners, ones with hardly any experience, that I figured out what I was good at.”

“You’re good at breaking people in. Taking their virginity,” I said.

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