Page 68 of Sleep

“This is why we have staff,” Kopetski smarmed. “A nice bit of totty to look at and we don’t have to make our own drinks. I haven’t got much time. Need signatures, and for God’s sake, Jonathan, can you ring that Pravish at Lloyds Bank?”

“Jasper. Take a seat,” I demanded. Trousers or not, I was done. I’d already spent an hour on the phone with Lloyds this morning, and I actually liked Thomas Wu’s choice of architect and the futuristic design of his new headquarters. An exciting project.

“Here?” Kopetski swiped a finger across my incredibly dusty dining table and wiped it on his jacket sleeve. “You need a cleaner, mate,” he said, trying to remove the resulting streak of grey dust from his dark suit.

“I’ll wipe down the table later. I want to lay out the new site plan for the Brighton project. There are some adjustments we need to discuss, but first…” I gestured for him to sit, and he did so. I took the seat opposite and crossed my bare hairy legs, dangling my socked foot in front of him. I didn’t care. I think I’d stopped caring a while back.

My home. My rules.

“Jasper? You’re contemptible. You need to take a long, hard look at how you speak to people and the incredibly insensitive things that come out of your mouth on occasion. We don’t have totty. For goodness’ sake, you’re younger than me. Even my father, who has a habit of dropping gaffes like you won’t believe, has learned to never, ever use that word. My mother would kill him. Had she still been here, she’d have sacked you in an instant.”

“Your mother—” Jasper started, but I held up my hand.

“My mother is still the main shareholder in this company, followed by my father. I may be the CEO, but that’s not worth a jot if the shareholders kick up a fuss. You are aware of this, aren’t you?”

“Of course.” He looked a little flushed. Good.

“Watch your mouth. Treat people with the utmost respect. You represent the company, twenty-four seven.”

“I can push that card straight back at you. Get dressed in the morning, Jonny.”

“Perhaps I will.” I leaned back in my chair, letting my legs spread, mimicking Jasper’s way of sitting. Lazy, untidy yet intimidating in a way I really didn’t like, but he needed a dose of his own medicine. “It’s no business of yours either way. Nor does it impact on others. Your attitude, however—”

He scoffed. “I don’t like all these modern ridiculous woke ideas. It’s not something a man like me can just take on board, all this queer song and dance. Pronouns. Words you can’t even speak out loud for fear of being cancelled. Totty. Girls. Whatever you want to call them, we need to have them at hand.”

“A man like you?” I said, keeping my voice low and level. “You’re a prejudiced, backward man filled with misogyny and fear, and I’m not doing myself any favours by attempting to educate you, so by all means, go ahead and speak up. See how long it takes for you to get the clap back from others, lose your position in society, your position here. You’ve already lost all of my respect.”

“Bullshit,” he barked. “You feel the same, you just don’t voice it out loud.”

“Jasper, I’m a gay man. I have a partner.” I was surprised at the words coming out of my mouth, how naturally they had rolled off my tongue, the anger in me that was quietly distant as I sat up straighter. “And if my bare legs threaten you so much, then perhaps this is long overdue.”

His face was now almost fully red with suppressed anger and the urge to retaliate, but I think he was also frightened, and so he should be. I should have done this years ago, but my own fear had held me back.

“Your…difficulty in taking on ‘all this queer song and dance’ is irrelevant. I’m telling you that your behaviour is completely unacceptable. Not only towards me, but towards every single person in this company, our clients and our service partners. There are only so many warnings I can place on your file, Jasper, and we have more than filled your quota.”

“Has that Kizzy been blabbering again? She should learn to shut her—”

“This is your formal notice that your contract with this company is about to be cancelled, terminating your employment with us.”

“You think you can just chuck me out like that? I have the law on my side, Templar. You will be hearing from my solicitor.”

“I look forward to conversing with them, because this is the end of the line. Please see yourself out, and before you go, hand me back that keycard.”

“Have it!” he yelled and threw the card on the table. A moment later, my front door slammed shut.

Deep breath.

I picked up the keycard, spinning it between my finger and thumb. Funny. I couldn’t recall having given it to him and had only said it on a whim.

I suppose I needed to call our law firm, give HR a friendly heads-up. Decide what to do about lunch?

My hands were shaking, but my head, surprisingly still attached, was held high.

I rolled my shoulders, releasing pent-up tension, and looked out over London. A slow rainfall was leaving trails of droplets on the windows, but beyond them, my city was still there, still the same. It was December, almost the end of another year and then the beginning of a new one.

Fresh starts.

I was a gay man. I’d said it out loud now, no going back, and it wasn’t as terrifying as I had always felt it would be. In fact, it felt…fantastic.

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