Page 29 of Romi

“We need to talk,” I told him as he failed to meet my eye yet again.

Romi froze, his jaw clenching as he quickly checked around, but we were alone, I’d made sure we were before saying anything.

Finally, he dropped Gracie’s bag and sighed. His hands reached to firmly grip my shoulders, my knees weakened, and butterflies erupted in my stomach at his touch. My breath hitched as his gorgeous amber eyes finally met mine. This was it; he was going to agree to meet me somewhere to discuss our future. My heart swelled with anticipation.

“There’s nothing to say, Sonia. You need to forget what happened between us. It won’t happen again,” he said in a quiet tone, leaving me gobsmacked, as my mind struggled to process the rejection.

Before I could reply, he’d moved me to the side, lifted the bag, and stepped into the house.

He’d rejected me, again? Oh, hell no!

“Seriously?!” I asked as my shocked brain finally kicked my mouth into gear, but he had already gone, leaving me standing there alone. Again!

Completely frustrated, I stood staring at the empty space where he had been, my fists tightly clenched, my breaths becoming laboured and sporadic as I practically vibrated with a mix of hurt and anger.

Damn that man! I really wanted to believe that Romi and I could overcome our issues unlike Nonna and her love, but I was beginning to wonder. Seducing him was proving harder than I had expected. I didn’t understand his reluctance to even talk about us. I felt completely distraught, and my confidence plummeted through the floor.

Why had he rejected me again? Why wouldn’t he at least talk to me about things?

Surely, I wasn’t so naive and deluded that I had read the whole situation wrong? God, had I?

No, I was right about the attraction between us, and I knew that our kiss had meant something. Hadn’t it?

I couldn’t seem to think straight, I was so confused. Aargh!

My head screamed silently in frustration as I blinked rapidly trying hard to avoid the tears that threatened to spill as I hurried upstairs to my room, thanking god that nobody was there to notice. I was not going to cry. I was stronger than that.

Stomping inside I slammed the door behind me and stormed over to my bed accidently kicking the chair of my dressing table on the way, stubbing my toe. Ah! I screamed in agony, hopping around the room. I yanked off my slipper and grabbed my sore toe in an attempt to alleviate the pain but ended up falling on my bum, the impact ricocheting through my spine and finally making me burst into the tears I had been so desperately trying to hold back.

Once the floodgates had opened, I couldn’t seem to stop my tears again. I curled up on the floor and sobbed uncontrollably, gasping for breath, and sniffing hard. Big fat tears ran down my face, as I let the pain of Romi’s rejection out once more. My mind bombarded me with a frenzy of mixed up thoughts as my emotions spiralled out of control sending me on a rollercoaster ride of hurt, anger, humiliation, and shame.

How could he keep telling me to forget what had happened? I could never. That kiss, our chemistry, it was real. I knew it. And he felt it too. I knew he did. Why did he continue to deny us? Didn’t he want me? Was I really so forgettable to him?

Lying there on the ground, hugging my knees to my chest, the pain in my foot and bum no longer registered as I became lost in a world of my own self-pity. I don’t know how long I lay there but eventually the tears slowed, as they always do, and I finally became aware of the hard cold floor beneath me, chilling my bones and making me ache.

My pity party had drained me of energy, and it was all I could do to crawl over to my bed and pull myself up onto the mattress. I grabbed the throw at the bottom and pulled it over me. My hand gently brushed the cover, allowing the feel of the soft plush fabric to soothe me as I let my swollen, tired eyes close.

Exhausted, I longed for rest. My whole body was ready to shut down yet my mind wouldn’t let me sleep. Romi’s continued rejection felt like a physical blow as much as an emotional one and my carefully constructed confidence was knocked. I had to regroup. I needed to fall back on the healthy habits I had worked so hard to form over the last year.

So, I lay there with my eyes closed and recited my affirmations. My self-esteem had taken a beating and I really needed to get myself grounded again.

I was confident. I was beautiful. I was capable. I was worth it.

The more I recited them the better I felt.

When I was calmer and less like an emotional wreck, I allowed my mind to return to Romi’s rejection yet again and the reasons that might be behind it.

Despite my earlier misgivings, I knew I wasn’t imagining the attraction between us. It was there in the way he looked at me and the electricity between us when we touched.

Romi was a strong guy, and I knew if he truly wanted me, he would fight my family for me, no matter the risks. That meant there was something more stopping him.

The seven year age gap wasn’t that much and my lack of experience for a possessive man like Romi was more than likely a positive for him than a negative. So, the only conclusion I could draw was that he doubted my feelings for him were genuine. He didn’t know how long I had felt this way about him, so he probably thought it was simply a crush. If he thought I wasn’t serious about him, he wouldn’t want to risk any sort of relationship with me. Not when there was so much at stake. And there was a lot at stake, I knew this, I was not naïve.

I huffed, the thought that he doubted me pissed me off, yet, in a way I understood it. We had known each other for ever and it was only now that the dynamics of our relationship were changing so I guessed it could be hard for him to accept and believe.

While it likely was true that my attraction to him at the beginning was a simple crush, over the years, it had turned it into something far more meaningful. I was still very attracted to his looks of course. I giggled because, well, those abs of his were especially to die for, but I also loved his strength, the way he made me laugh, how much we had in common, and our shared history.

There was no doubt about it in my mind that I loved Romi completely. I had done for years and now I simply had to convince him. Because I was definitely not giving up. As far as I was concerned Operation Seduce Romi was still a go. I was going to have to make another move on him and show him otherwise. But how?

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