I owed Grandad a resolution that he never seemed to find in life. And it started with this place, with this family name and the union. If I could find the cause for the fissure, I could heal his posthumous heart. I had to beat Father’s quest for violent revenge and show him that Grandad could have a dignified remembrance without spilt blood.
I need my laptop.
Grandad gave me my first laptop when I started school. It was my refuge when my surrounding world wanted me gone. I could live an alternative life online and find a purpose beyond staring out windows I couldn’t jump from.
I stepped out beyond the cover of the trees onto the pavement in front of the soldier’s quarters. More men than I’d ever seen before in one place milled around the tarmac beside the barrack block.
The barracks, built behind the grand manor house during the Union, have sat hauntingly empty ever since. They housed the cadets, foot soldiers, and our artillery storage and security offices. That was where my laptop was.
With my head down, I entered the building. I nodded at the men guarding the door, avoiding their gaze. They returned a slight look of sullen pity. I hated it. Neenan caught sight of me as I turned midway through an eye roll. I picked up my pace.
“Laney!” Neenan shouted after me, “Laney, stop!”
I turned and held a pointed finger to his chest. “Do not ask me if I’m okay. I can’t take it.”
The moment of silence confirmed that was what he was going to say.
I continued walking.
I didn’t want to talk about it unless it was three drinks deep with my cousin, Tilly. She’s coming this week, but I couldn’t feel the full brunt of the excitement that I usually would.
Turning the corner to where my bedroom was, I saw a figure standing there.
Beautiful.
She stood outside my bedroom door, looking up at a picture of the family. At the time of the image, I was at St James’s. Miserable. The attempt at a smile marred my face, regardless. After years of begging, I couldn’t admit defeat to my father.
Was she here for me?
I approached her slowly, not startling her. “I swear, I learnt how to smile since that picture was taken,” I chuckled under my breath.
She turned, and my laugh got caught in my throat. I smiled confused, yet suddenly relaxed.
She was the girl. The girl was she.
It took effort to hold my jaw in place. “Oh-I-uhh-Hi Hello!”
She gave me a sceptical look, her skin as pale as I remembered. “Hi,” she replied, reserved.
Neenan took that moment to stomp down the hallway. “Laney are you o-” He stopped behind me, taking note of the girl before me. “Oh Kenna, nice to see you found your way.”
Kenna.
“You know each other?” I looked between the two. They both looked at me, heads tilted.
“Only briefly, I gave her a tour earlier. Your father hired Kenna as part of the heightened security measures. A junior enforcer. She’ll be staying in this room.” He pointed to the room beside mine and shrugged. “Away from the boys, you know.”
“Father? You’re Laney.” Kenna spoke in a soothing cadence, shoulders pushed back.
I tried to mimic her stance, but I could only hide a shy smile as I brushed my hair behind my shoulders. I wasn’t as suave as her. All I could do was nod.
Neenan inched closer to us as if to get between us.
“Goodnight, Neenan,” I said and rested a hand on Kenna’s arm. I guided her into my room, paying the guard no mind, not when she was in my vision. “I’m so glad you are here.” I breathed the words out in a similar way one would release a sigh of relief.
She followed me, closed the door with a stilted smile, and sat on the edge of the bed. “I would’ve preferred different circumstances.”
“Yeah,” I considered, “But still.” A sudden giddiness filled me. It was bizarre that the figment of my endless daydream sat politely on my bed. It wasn't with the ease that I’d hoped though. I shivered when I sat beside her.