Page 40 of Beautiful Chaos

It was right then that I realized something was different about Jasper. There I was, thinking I was more relaxed, but the minute a man was near me, I went right back to my being terrified. My body and mind were at ease around Jasper, in such a natural way, that it had gone unnoticed until a strange male presence intercepted my senses. Max.

Jasper must have felt me tense up since he was sitting close to me. Max settled at the end of the sofa and extended his hand for the usual pleasantries. These were normal gestures among strangers, yet they felt foreign to me. My body had chosen that moment to betray me.

His hand stretched out waiting to receive my hand, but I didn’t respond, I couldn’t. My mind was shouting at me to act, to do whatever I could, but I couldn’t move. I froze.

I stared at his hand, trying to muster the courage to take it and get over the jitters that hit me when he stepped into my safe space. Jasper must have felt me tense again because he grabbed my hand and squeezed then turned to Max with a sneer.

He gave him a look I couldn’t quite make out, his jaw tense and twitching. I looked over just in time to see Max’s eyes widen. Immediately he dropped his hand, then mouthed, “I’m sorry,” to Jasper.

Jasper nodded.

I was lost with the entire exchange between them, but it was quickly forgotten, when Jasper turned to me with his calm, soothing ocean-blue eyes, making me feel safe again.

What has gotten into me? Snap out of it Harper, you idiot, he is just helping you out.

Once Aster returned, I would go home and inadvertently push him out. Nothing personal, it’s just who I am… who I’ve become. It’s not what I want, it’s safe though.

“Harper, I asked, Max to come by so that we could work on some things for a client, Max is my assistant and oldest friend,” he said with a timid smile.

It was weird, this is his home. Who am I to have a say in who he has over? And why does it feel like it matters tremendously to him that I’m okay with it?

I felt so silly for even getting noticeably nervous at Max’s presence. I offered him a sincere, but small smile.

I sprang up, losing the physical connection between Jasper and me. His fingers had been intertwined with mine, almost possesively. To my surprise, I didn’t mind it. An aching void settled in when his comforting touch left my hand.

“Let me get out of your way.” I excused myself while still wrapped in my blanket.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Max,” then like a complete fool I curtsied and walked off as fast as I could, leaving no time for either of them to respond to my childish departure. As I rounded the corner, a wave of embarrassment washed over me, leaving me utterly mortified.

I curtsied! OMG, why the hell did I do that? What is wrong with me?

I palmed my forehead before ducking under the blanket, wrapping it around myself like a cocoon as I walked down the lengthy hallway. In the distance, I heard the deep vibrations of a chuckle, from Jasper, and I wondered if they were laughing at me. I quickly swiped the thought away because it didn’t deserve a space in my head. Jasper has been so wonderful toward me.

I walked into the spare room that had been mine for the past four days and lay on the bed. Turning on the TV for background noise, I sunk into the unnecessarily large fluffy pillows and gazed at the ceiling.

I was completely lost in thought, contemplating everything that had happened since my first night here, when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” I said, raising my voice just enough to be heard through the door.

I propped myself up on the bed, facing the entrance. The door creaked open gradually, and Jasper’s head appeared, inching into the room even more slowly.

“Hey, are you okay? You seemed out of sorts out there,” he asked with a smile that didn’t meet his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m sorry I acted that way. It’s just that I get a little nervous around people.”

Mostly men but I keep that thought to myself.

I looked at the ground while subconsciously pulling on the sleeves of my shirt covering my wrists.

“That’s okay, I mean it’s Max, he tends to draw that type of response from beautiful women,” he said, with a chuckle, I was thankful for the attempt to lighten the self-inflicted tension I felt at that moment.

Suddenly, his words replayed in my head.

Beautiful women?

Did he call me beautiful?

I felt my cheeks heat again, Jasper smirked from across the room, like he could read my mind.

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