Page 19 of Beautiful Chaos

You’re up late. Don’t you have something better to be doing than messaging strange women? Oh wait you said crazed… :/ Lucky for you I know how to take a joke, and I sorta owe you one, or else I’d have you looking over your shoulder when you go outside. JK

So why was your day so difficult? I’m glad I could cheer you up a bit though.

To answer your questions, my friend met a man and went home with him that night or planned to. I was ready to go home because sitting there while men hit on me wasn’t something I wanted to continue. As far as a boyfriend goes there is no one special in my life right now. However, I guess, it’s appropriate to ask if there is a Mrs. J.W?

-Harper

I pressed send and closed my laptop. I was about to walk out of the room to get back to my movie when another message came through.

“Whoa, that was fast,” I said to no one. I took my laptop and went back to the couch before I read the new message.

Hmm,

Someone is feeling feisty tonight, or are you always a little firecracker? I like it. Don’t worry about me, I can handle a tough day, but it is nice to have someone to chat with to help keep my mind off things.

So, you say you were with your friend? Why would she just abandon you to go home alone at that time of night? Especially, when you were getting as much attention as you were in the lounge. You shouldn’t go anywhere alone at night like that. It’s not safe for a pretty girl like you. Oh, and no I’m not in a relationship currently. If I’m being honest, I’ve never been a relationship type of man. I guess I’m more of a casual lover kind of man.

Looking over my shoulder when I go outside huh? That’s the first time I’ve ever been threatened by a woman let alone a tiny woman. What are you like four foot two? You don’t scare me with your violent threats of harm.

(face with tongue sticking out)

So, what do you do for work?… or fun?… or anything?

-J.W.

Reading his message had me feeling odd. In any other situation, I’d already be having anxiety or extreme fear obsessing over what could possibly happen to me in responding to these but messaging him feels… Okay.

After rereading our message feed, I felt eager to respond but knew I needed time. The messages I sent didn’t quite sound like me—or at least, not the fearful side of me. It seemed like I was beginning to release something. I wasn’t sure, if what I felt was strange or just that I wasn’t feeling anything bad.

Instead of messaging him back I closed my laptop and left it for another time. There’s something strange about the calmness I felt interacting with this stranger, and it freaked me out a little.

After I turned off the TV and double-checked that all the doors were locked, and the windows had not been tampered with, I reset the alarm. I went to my room and turned down all the lights, except the bedside lamp. Pulling the big fluffy duvet over me, I nestled into my mattress. I grabbed my book from the bedside table.

After I suggested it to Jasper, at the bookstore, I decided I’d re-read ‘Into the Water’. It wasn’t like I hadn’t already read it about a hundred times. I enjoyed reading about a strong woman who can handle herself. It filled me with hope for my future. Maybe one day, I could be like the woman in the stories I read, where my strength would be shown, and I would no longer cower in fear.

Reading stories where the female character was always some lonely, fragile soul that needed to be saved never did it for me maybe because I was forced to learn the truth at a young age.

Prince charming never really comes to save you, and the ones you thought were your protectors, will more likely be the ones to hurt you.

You can’t trust anyone, ever. There are no real fairy tale endings, just some situations that end better than others.

I opened ‘Into the Water’ to page one and started from the beginning.

Chapter 16

HARPER

It had been some time since I last heard from J.W., and I felt a bit guilty for not responding to him. He reached out, and we were having a great conversation, but the fact that I felt comfortable… scared me.

I had to cut it off because I didn’t know where it was leading. I have spent many years learning to avoid these feelings and spent so much time learning to keep my walls up and protect myself. I couldn’t throw all that away for some guy I knew nothing about.

“How long are you going to be gone?” I asked. The idea of being alone at the house for a while really bugged me, but I didn’t want to let it on to my best friend.

“Maybe a week,” she answered excitedly as she packed for her impromptu vacation to London with Prestyn.

They had been dating each other for nearly a month and since that night at the lounge, I hadn’t seen much of her at home. He had been whisking her away every chance he got.

“A whole week? You lucky Bitch.” I teased her as I watched while she picked through her lingerie drawer and packed way too much underwear.

---