Page 82 of Raise 'Em Up

“I love you too, Cherry. I don't know where I would be if I had never met you. You make me feel like everything will get better, even if the demons in my mind are fighting you at every chance.”

“Then let's finally get rid of them for good.”

Nodding, I let her guide me into the small office and over to the receptionist. My heart is racing and I feel sick.

I don't know if I can actually do this. I know I have to. That it's time, and if I ever want to move on and heal, I need to do this, but telling a stranger about all my darkest secrets…

“Hi. We are here to see Robin,” Rylee says with a smile, taking over for me. My mouth is dry, and I try to clear my throat.

The woman behind the desk gives me a once over, then reaches behind her into a mug and hands me a lollipop.

My hand shakes as I take it and I try to smile. “You will love Dr. Ekman. Don't be frightened, pet,” she tells me with a kind smile, and my shoulders relax a little.

Rylee thanks her and guides me over to a comfortable looking couch in the corner. I can't sit still. My knee is bouncing up and down and so I jump up, beginning to pace.

I open the sucker and place it between my lips. It's root beer flavored and I try to calm down. I think about ice cream floats and warm summer days with my mom before she died.

Before my life turned to hell.

“Donny,” Rylee says, gaining my attention. There is a woman standing behind me with a big smile on her face and her hand extended for me to shake.

“Hi, you must be Adonis,” she says. She seems welcoming with her soft features, and cardigan over a light-blue sundress.

She's young, maybe mid-thirties, but she has crinkles around her eyes, showing me that she smiles a lot.

“Um, yeah,” I croak, then clear my throat and take her hand. Her palm is warm and soft. Mine is clammy, but she doesn't even flinch.

“Shall we?” She releases me and waves toward her open office door. I peek inside and there are several large bean bags in the corner, as well as a huge sofa and a coffee table full of snacks and junk food.

I take a step forward and realize Rylee is still sitting. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, trying to be brave.

Holding my hand out in front of her, I open my eyes, asking her without words. “Are you sure?” she asks and I nod.

“I need you,” I mumble.

She takes my hand, letting me pull her off the couch, and she takes the weight off my shoulders by guiding me into the office.

Robin is sitting in a comfortable looking chair, waiting. She gave me and Rylee a moment in private, and I appreciate that.

Showing vulnerability isn't easy for me. I spent a good portion of my childhood being beaten for showing weakness.

I move over to one of the large bean bags and pull Rylee onto my lap. Robin smiles and moves to the other bag.

“Would you like something to eat?” she asks and Rylee laughs.

“I can see why the guys thought you'd be perfect for Donny.”

My stomach is in knots, and for the first time in, I think, ever, I turn down free food.

“Maybe later,” I mumble, and Rylee squirms until I let her go. She grabs me a plate anyway and returns, taking a seat next to me.

“I think we need these at home,” she mutters, tilting her head towards the huge bean bags. I nod, agreeing, but my mind is a million miles away.

“Okay, Adonis, you have me for the next hour, so what would you like to talk about today?”

I look into her soft green eyes and take a few more breaths. “Can you call me Donny, please?” I mumble and she nods, writing something in her notepad.

“Of course. Anything to make you feel comfortable here. This is a safe space, and if you'd like to continue chatting with me, you may bring in items from home, or request certain treats for during your sessions.”

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