Page 36 of Raise 'Em Up

Sighing, I pull her closer to me, rubbing her back. “Don't cry for me, baby. I'm okay. Just had an anxiety attack.”

Pulling away from me, she shakes her head and gives me a stern look. “That was not a simple anxiety attack, Donny. You were mumbling, ‘please, no, not again.’”

My eyes widen and my lips part. Fuck, I know I need to tell her, and I will, but right now I'm too raw. My monsters are trying to break out of the closet, and I need to keep them locked up just a little while longer.

“I love you, Rylee, but this… I just need more time. But you being here… holding me… It helps,” I whisper, showing her a little of my vulnerability.

“Okay,” she says, kissing my nose and making me smile.

“Never leave me, Rylee Moore,” I mumble as my eyelids become heavy. “Just stay,” I whisper as my body gives up the fight and sleep claims me.

I just hope my demons don't come out to play again.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

“Hey, Alice, I’m going to take my break in a few, okay?” I tell one of my co-workers as I make my way from grabbing some cups from the back.

“Yeah, for sure. You’ve been working like crazy. Thanks again for taking that lunch hour rush while I went for my appointment.”

“No problem.” I smile. “Any time.”

Stepping back up to the counter, I take the next order in line. With all the coffee I’ve been serving, it’s killing me that I haven’t had one of my own yet.

Today is my first day back. I was so grateful that I still had a job waiting for me. I thought for sure I would have been fired, because I didn’t give any notice and just left. But, thankfully, my boss is sweet as can be, and after hearing a tame version of events, she said it wasn’t a big deal.

With students getting back into the flow of classes and the new semester, I’m not surprised this weekend has been crazy busy.

This past week has been insane for myself also.

After everything with the whole “my boyfriend is my step-brother” craziness, I didn’t really have enough time to truly process it. I had my little breakdown with the guys, talked about it as much as I was willing to, but then classes started up. And with cheer taking a big chunk of my time, as we try to get down a solid routine for Regionals, I had to put my big girl panties back on and do my best to move forward.

“Hello, what can I get you?” I ask the next customer, and my stomach does a little flip when I see it’s Trevor.

“Hi.” He gives me a nervous smile and I bite my lower lip.

“Hi,” I say softly, my heart racing at the sight of him.

We haven’t seen each other since that night because our schedules clash, but we have been texting non-stop. I know he feels like he’s to blame for everything, but he really isn’t. As long as he had no idea about who my dad was, then that’s all that matters to me.

“Can we talk? I miss you,” he asks with a boyish look in his eyes. “I can wait until you're on break. I’ve got time.”

“You're just in luck, I’m about to take my break.”

I tell Alice to take over, and I move around the counter to Trevor. “Walk with me?” he asks, holding out his hand.

Smiling, I nod and lace my fingers through his. The feeling of his hand against mine makes me shiver. I just want to wrap my arms around him and stay there for a long time.

We’ve hardly had any time together, since well before Christmas break, and I hate it. The guys have an advantage now because I live in the Cheer house. There's always one of them with me at all times. At least, it feels like that. Not that I mind. But that means Trevor isn’t getting the time and attention he needs or deserves.

“Am I a shitty girlfriend?” I ask him as we walk around the courtyard.

“What? No, of course not.” He looks down at me with furrowed brows. “Why would you think that?”

“Because I’m always with the other guys, and we hardly have any time to spend together. I don’t want you to think that I favor them over you. I love you all the same.”

I still can’t believe I told him I loved him like I did. I wanted it to be in a more personal way, something sweet, just the two of us. But damn, James was really pissing me the fuck off with his bullshit of trying to come into my life and play dad.

He’s been texting me and I hate it. I’ve considered blocking his number, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I know the guy means well, but he’s going about it the wrong way.

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