Page 5 of Christian Clause

“I’m sorry, I don’t need one at the moment.”

Shamefaced, even though I don’t know why since I didn’t have a choice, I give him a stiff smile and walk out of the café.

What am I going to do?

Crestfallen, I walk down the street. I’m determined to find a job, no matter how meager. I’m ready to forget about my graduate status and look for any paying job.

Hours later, I return home with a heavy disappointment in my chest. I walked the length of the entire block and some, yet no one was hiring. Feeling as if the entire world has fallen on my shoulders, I drop on the couch and wonder for the umpteenth time what I’m going to do.

I barely sit down when the door to the small apartment opens and Alice comes in with a tall and skinny looking girl. Her brown eyes roam the small space while she flips back hair from her shoulders.

Alice, with a bright smile across her face, looks at me and says, “Hope, meet our— my new roommate, Becky.”

My jaw drops. “What?”

Shrugging, she replies, “I figured that you wouldn’t be able to come up with your share of the rent. So, I made alternative arrangements. I met Becky here at the gym and she’s looking for an apartment. She has cash up front. So…”

If the floor could open up and swallow me whole, I would be mighty glad at this moment. Despondency clings to me like a tight sheath. How can Alice do this to me after all we’ve been through together? When the apartment was burgled, I replaced most of the things, even hers because she blamed me for it. She said it was because Terrance and his friends came over one night. She didn’t like the look of one of his friends.

My heart drops to my feet when Becky strides forward and, with a haughty expression on her face, asks, “When are you moving out?”

I watch my life becoming a hot mess. Alice and her newfound friend Becky making my life a living hell. Even though I sleep on the couch, they complain about every little thing that I do or don’t do. I have to wake up very early to take a shower, before any of them wake up, because if they find me there, I will receive nasty words.

Becky complains about my belongings in her room, making me place them in the living room. Alice complains that it is making the place look crowded, making me sell off most of my belongings. I try getting another accommodation, but everyone has one excuse or the other to give me why I can’t come and stay with them. Since I have nowhere else to go, I have to stay here and search for a job.

Whenever Alice and Becky have guests, I am told to leave the living room. Frustrated, I have to ask Alice what I ever did to her to deserve this.

Snarling, she tells me, “Now you know how it feels to have nothing. When you were moving about with your fancy clothes, good-paying job, and handsome hunk of a boyfriend, did you think of me? You should be grateful I allow you to crash on the couch because you bought it.”

I weep myself to sleep on the couch. Jealousy is the reason Alice treats me like dirt. She does not understand that it is because I lived frugally that I could get most of the stuff I have. And didn’t Terrance dump me? How she must have laughed inwardly the night I cried in her arms, lamenting Terrance’s betrayal.

When all my efforts to get a job prove futile, I swallow my pride and decide to call my sister for help. I have to do it quickly before Alice or Becky returns. If they find me using the phone, I’m afraid they might kick me out. They already warned me not to touch anything that wasn’t mine in the apartment.

Tears roll down my eyes as the call connects. I never thought I’d be in this situation.

“Hello, Deb.” Emotion clogs my throat, preventing me from saying more.

“Hope? What’s wrong? Are you all right?”

Hearing her sweet voice feels as if a dam broke in my heart. Tears flow down my cheeks.

“Hope? You’re scaring me. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

Hearing the anxiety in her voice, I try to pull myself together.

“I lost my job a month ago.”

“Oh, love. I’m so sorry to hear that. Are you all right?”

I want to lie that everything is fine so as not to worry her. But, I can’t, because I’m badly in need of help.

I shake my head. “I’m not all right, Deb. Things have been pretty rough lately.”

“I’m sorry. Why don’t you come home for the holidays, Hope? We haven’t seen you in ages.”

I draw in a stiff breath. Go home to Cedar Crest, Colorado? I don’t think I’m up for it. I mean, I left there for a reason. I don’t particularly like the cold temperature, mainly at this time of the year.

“I don’t think—”

---