Page 50 of Goodbye To Tomorrow

“Deal or no deal, Jiraiya,” her voice was serious.

"Okay, deal...." I focused on those two words. “But if something happens and I can’t keep my part of the deal...,” my voice trailed off.

"Sorry, I didn't mean...," she tried to apologize but it wasn't needed after all, she was trying to get me to fight and not give up. I loved her even more for it.

"Yes, it's not a question of will this happen; the right question is when it will happen." I said in a low tone.

"But you can use that time in the best way! I mean, how many people can say that this woman is spending time with them?" She was joking, just to make me smile and she did. Hell yeah, she did.

"You're special to me," I said while a smile with a smile forming on my lips.

"You make me feel special," she replied focusing on my eyes.

"Maybe I want to repeat something," I said slowly.

"What?" She didn't understand, so I slowly touched her hand, moving her in front of me and slowly making her sit on my lap.

"I...," she started to say.

"Hush." I whispered and let my lips mesh with hers.

"We can't," she started again.

"Who is going to forbid us?" I asked while my lips were teasing her with small kisses on her neck.

That was the moment when her hands were in my hair, pulling me closer to her, offering herself to me, to kiss her wherever I wanted. I slowly stood up from the chair and put the blanket on the ground of the backyard where we were. She started to tease me while I was unbuttoning my shirt. The tips of her fingers were on my body and all I wanted was her. Completely present and completely with her, that's who I was.

Ignoring the pain, I wanted to make her happy and to show her how good it can be when both people are ready to please each other. I was her first.... The fact that she had allowed me that day, not knowing that she was a virgin had dawned on me the very moment that day came back to me in clear revelation.

Her first time wasn't romantic as she probably had dreamed it to be, but I'll make every other time better. While my lips were getting lower and lower on her warm body, my fingers were taking off her shirt. Her eyes were closed, her smile showed the joy she was feeling, and I was happy to be the source of that joy.

Just one look at her body was able to completely turn me on. Her body was perfectly proportioned and made just for me. I couldn't believe that I hadn't realized that earlier.

"Your body is driving me crazy," I whispered in her ear and then bit her earlobe, teasing her even more while my hands were roaming freely on her body, making her hotter than she already was.

In a few seconds she was completely naked, sitting on the blanket and slowly pushing me on her body, taking off my jeans.

"Show me how much you love me," I whispered in her ear.

"I'll show you that I cherish you," she said softly.

"I want to show you how much I adore you," I couldn't help but say.

"Kiss me," she crooned and prevented the rest of the conversation by kissing my lips and slowly touching my lower lip with her tongue.

She's still insecure, I told myself and promised that I would change that somehow, but today, today the time was ours. My hands went lower down her neck, slowly touching her breasts while her eyes were closed, feeling my every movement. I touched her thighs and kissed them slowly, giving her a lot of pleasure. Was I okay? No, my whole body was hurting, and every move was pins and needles.

Did that make me stop? Hell no. The explosion of feelings hit me after I heard how she reached the place where she was barely controlling her voice. We came together, lying in each other’s embrace.

"That was..." She started to say.

"Amazing." I finished her sentence and kissed her slowly.

"How are you?"

"Better than ever." I lied to her; my muscles were screaming in pain. "I am happy." She said, and I smiled.

"I am happy too, Karine." It was painful to look at her and lie, but she would be worried if I told her the truth.

"Let's go." I said to her and slowly put clothes back on my body while she was looking at me with a naughty facial expression.

"Come on, Darling, you don't want to continue teasing me or you'll spend the rest of the day here on the floor. Tomorrow too, if you don’t watch your step,” I said. I could see that my words were just turning her on more, but she giggled and stood up, following my example and getting dressed.

I returned to my chair and we entered the house.

"I'll take a nap now." I said to her and went to my room.

The very moment I closed the doors of my room, I collapsed to the ground, struggling to breathe. I opened the cupboard and took the morphine. The only way to hide my pain, the only way to be with Karine. The relaxation came immediately, and I took a deep sigh. I was lying in my bed, thinking about our first time. Yes, I was drunk and yes, I told Karine that I loved her even though those words weren't meant for her at that moment.

It's hard to forget the people who betrayed you but now when I am making love to Karine, in my mind it's only her. All I wanted, all I needed, everything was Karine. I promised, again, that I wouldn't hurt her ever again. The time I had left on earth is the time I will use to make her happy. I put the syringe in the trash and closed my eyes, feeling better.

---