Page 37 of Goodbye To Tomorrow

"Sweetheart, don't cry for me. I just wish I had met you sooner in life, before I became...," he started to say but I placed a finger against his lip to stop him.

"Shush. I already know how you feel. I feel the same way, but I wouldn't trade anything for knowing the man you are right now."

"Oh Karine!" He grunted before burying his face in my breasts. He held my hips in a vise-like grip, and slammed his cock into forcefully.

"Ahhh, mmmm," I gasped as the most delicious sensations vibrated through my core. My toes curled as the first orgasm ripped through my being. My hips in an upward arch meeting him...thrust for thrust. I could barely catch my breath when he was plummeting back into me. There was nothing sick or frail in the way Jiraiya made love to me. Sickness be damned... he was still all hard tone muscle and a pumping machine… All man.

“I love you,” he startled me with his declaration, and I started to shiver all over my body.

“I love you more,” I confessed on an exhale.

I was able to see his eyes and I had seen what I had wanted to see. No, those words weren’t for me, because his eyes were searching for something else. Alcohol gave him the possibility to forget but his body had not forgotten.

“Gracen, my love!” The name fell from his lips like a prayer.

Those words made my eyes open widely; those words felt like a slap in my face. His eyes were closed, and I felt that he had fallen asleep, which he did after just a few seconds, not knowing how to control his body.

It was like the alcohol evaporated from my body. I became more than conscious, and a small tear trailed down my face. I stood up from the bed and called an Uber. I did not want to be there when Jiraiya woke up.

I dressed silently and closed the doors of the room; holding back my tears as I looked at him for the last time. I could not tell why the tears wanted to flow, were they tears of joy that I’d finally given myself away to a man I loved? Or of sadness that Jiraiya, a dying man could never love me? Why was my heart breaking like this? I always knew his heart belonged to another. That fact wasn’t anything new. I love him! The words thundered through my head. This was the answer… I loved a man who could never belong to a simple woman like me. This is the reason why I don’t trust love. But even with all the thoughts that ran through my mind, there was a certain rush of joy that overcame me as I approached my home. I was actually glad it had happened... My memories would bring me comfort...in time.

The first thing that caught my attention when I walked into my home was the ringing of my cell phone. I pulled it out and saw Nadia’s name on the screen. Nadia had been my best friend when we were kids; the only girl I had ever trusted. She must have sensed I needed a friend right now; her call is right on time. Pressing the answer button, I held the phone to my ear

“Hey, Nadia.”

“What’s up girl? It’s been forever since we talked.

“I know. I have been busy at work.

“So how is working for your crush going for you?” My best friend asked.

“It’s not going well at all. I think I messed up,” I went on to catch her up on what has been happening in my life, about the date I had with Jiraiya. I left out the end-of-the-date details.

“Wow, Karine. So, how was your date?” she asked in a surprised tone of voice. I wondered...Would she think I was easy and stupid if she knew what I had done?

"It was interesting," I replied honestly as I closed the door behind me. I scanned the room, my eyes landing immediately on the bed. I considered lying on it and curling into a ball to forget my troubles. I sighed.

“So, did he ask you out again?” Nadia probed.

I flopped down on my bed; I switched the phone to my other ear.

“Yeah, he did.” I lied, too embarrassed to say anything more.

“What did you say?” Nadia asked.

“I said yes,” I replied

“You want to see him again?” my best friend echoed.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I? He’s my dream crush, after all."

“But you know how things are with you, and he is…well...you know, he’s gravely ill. How are you two going to work it out if this continues?”

“I already know that he is not looking for anything serious, Nadia. I knew that before I even considered accepting his date,” I added somewhat truthfully.

“Yes, I know that but sometimes things change, Karine. There are things out there that you can’t possibly control… like meeting the notorious Jiraiya. I bet you never expected to go out on a date with him.”

“I don’t see how this is relevant, Nadia.”

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