Page 23 of Goodbye To Tomorrow

Chapter 7

Jiraiya

It has been almost a month since my discharge from the hospital and I was beginning to feel better. There is occasional pain; a friend of mine has suggested the use of morphine to dull the pain. He has street connections and has been able to get me the drug. If I ever get arrested—he doesn’t know me.

I started using the drug and discovered that it was a fast and efficient pain reliever. It seemed like the best solution—the pain had been debilitating and now I have my life back. Or something close to it.

Gracen was slowly drifting away. God bless her, she was trying to hold it together but it wasn’t working. With the diagnosis we became completely different people. My illness had guaranteed that.

She and I sat outdoors in the shade of the trees so that I could get some fresh air. Sitting was about all I could do these days; the illness had seen to that. The air was nice, Gracen was unusually quiet. I knew she had a lot on her mind. I just didn’t know how this would all play out—and I needed to know.

"How is work going?" I asked.

"It is going fine. John Ferdinand has agreed to give me the contract for the South American job.” A few months ago, Gracen would have been turning somersaults over such an assignment. Today, she brushed it off as just another job. I felt sad about that, so I felt it was my duty to rectify that.

"That’s great news, but you don't seem so happy about it. This is something that we both have been waiting for. You should be over the moon right now Gracen," I pointed out.

"Yes, but sadly I am not," she turned her face to the side.

"And why is that Gracen?"

"Remember that special bottle of champagne we agreed to pop open if this contract panned out?" she asked, her face turned so I could see her sky-blue eyes.

"I still have that bottle. But it feels wrong to be celebrating with everything that’s happening to us.

"Oh Gracen, please don't let my illness be the reason why you cannot be happy.”

"Well, I’m not happy," she said and immediately started sobbing. I put my arm around her as I pulled her closer to me.

"We should celebrate the good things that are happening in your life Gracen. You deserve to be happy. I never want to get in the way of that," I replied.

She nodded as her hair fell forward; hiding the tears of her despair.

"Now, let’s uncork that bottle of bubbly. How about we meet at our favorite Italian restaurant? You know the one we first went to? How about we go out on a date, like we did before this all happened? What do you think, Babe?”

She remained quiet.

Just then her phone rang. I saw the caller ID flash and reveal the face of the man I saw her hugged up with in the news article online. I sucked my heart stalled out a bit. I was afraid of this very thing; I guess Gracen was no longer mine to keep; she had been stolen from me in my time of weakness.

I could hear unclear sounds coming from the phone. “Ahh, Okay. Can we make it for noon tomorrow?” Gracen responded, disconnected and hurriedly stuffed her cell phone into her hand bag.

“I need to go. Business. Tomorrow.7:00?” Now she was in a hurry to leave.

“Seven is fine" I barely got out and then she was gone.

I sat there, thinking about the life that she and I planned to have. I had so many ambitions: we would have kids...beautiful, of course. A beautiful house in a beautiful neighborhood. The finest cars. Closets full of designer clothes. Gone. It was like everything I had dreamed for and hoped for was gone...just like that. And with these thoughts in my head, I slept the rest of the afternoon away.

*****

The next day, I woke to a day that seemed to glow. I could not place my finger on the reason why; I suspected that it had something to do with tonight’s date with Gracen. Although I had mixed feelings about it, I was resolute. This dinner date was going to be an opportunity for me to determine if Gracen and I could survive as a couple. If she was not comfortable, I had decided that I would let her go. I wanted her to be happy and if leaving me would make her happy...how could I object? I loved her that much.

I sat at a table for two, swirling the glass of water that had been place in front of me. I hoped Gracen didn’t stand me up today, the way she had some days ago. I had waited for her at a coffee shop, and she phoned to cancel, saying her time had been taken up by so many activities. She had apologized, and I had accepted her apology.

I pondered how we would handle things if Gracen wanted to move on with me. And I considered the other, more likely answer. Right now, I simply wanted to see the beautiful Gracen one more time in the first restaurant we had ever visited. I could remember that moment like it was yesterday. She had looked very beautiful from the distance as I stood beside the limo that I had hired specially for the date. She walked with classic grace and swung her hair as she moved. I realized how lucky I was to have her agree to go with me on a date.

Our drive to the restaurant was filled with stares and smiles, compliments and small talks. At the restaurant, we talked about anything and everything that fueled our curiosity. It had been a wonderful night and when I dropped her at her home, I knew that I had a future with Gracen Lafleur.

Things continued to go well between the two of us. The more we time we spent together, the more we learned to trust one another. Gracen began to share the most intimate details of her life; I did the same.

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