"That's not fair, Mr. Sampson. Your mother has been worried sick about you," Rose said in Mother’s defense.
"You see now that's the problem, I don't need anyone to be worried sick about me. I need my family to be optimistic about my full recovery instead of speaking about my condition like I am going to die soon. You know the doctors only gave me two years, right?" I said to Rose with a glint of anger in my eyes. I was not really angry; I was just tired of being looked at with pity.
"Don't talk like that, Jiraiya. You know we care about you and we just cannot act like everything is alright when it isn’t." Her voice rose to a high pitch as Mother turned to look at me from the front seat. Rose reached over to give my hand a squeeze as I sat there and remained quiet.
"He just keeps spewing nonsense.” It was Father’s turn now; he spoke for the first time. He had been quiet since we got into the car; he had hardly said a word at the hospital and I was soon going to find out why. "You talk like we have lost hope in you, but you should ask yourself where is that whore you planned to marry? Has she given up on you completely? She doesn't even think you two can make it beyond this. Where is she now?" My father raged.
"Don't talk like that, Frank.” My mother tried to make him speak less viciously but I knew, deep within me, that he was right.
He wasn’t right about everything but he was right about this thing. Gracen should have been here with me; but she wasn’t. I felt very bad about it, but I consoled myself with the thought that I understood. She had said it was work-related and maybe it was. But the face of that man kept popping up in my mind.
I tried pushing the image out of my mind. The harder I tried, the harder it became. Well, I guess my time with Gracen is over. I’m no longer of value to her and I just need her to say it. I want her to look me in the eye and tell me that she doesn’t want me anymore. I know that she loves me; or at least the person I used to be. I guess the illness is just too much. I wonder if I will die alone, with no one at my side.