Page 56 of Goodbye To Tomorrow

"Thanks. My name is Marilyn," she introduced herself as she fell into her seat, extending her hand for a handshake.

"I am Jiraiya," I responded. "Nice meeting you" I added.

The flight attendant announced for us to fasten our seat belts as the pilots prepared to fly. I and Marilyn both adjusted our seat belts. Why am I adjusting my seat belt? It’s not like I have many years left. I joked to myself. I had already started to miss home and feel bad about leaving my family and Karine behind. I was a coward.

"I’m kind of nervous but excited at the same time," Marilyn uttered excitedly.

I forced a smile as I gave her a quick glance.

"Is this your first time in the air?" I asked

"Yes," she replied with a perky tone.

"You shouldn’t be scared. Flying is a piece of cake."

"I will have to take your word for it," she responded uncertainly. And then she turned to peer out the window.

Oh my God, she was so much like Karine. I knew right then and there that she was going to remind me of home all through the flight. I knew that already as I gave Marilyn another quick glance. There was a long silence on the plane after some further announcements; series of turbulent sounds followed thereafter. All the while, Marilyn had the same excited smile on her face. The same voice came on again after a while.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned off the “Fasten Seat Belt” sign, and announced that we were free to move about the cabin. It was less than one hour into our journey. Soft music played in the dim ambience of the airplane space. Everyone went about their business; some napping, some engaged with their gadgets. A lady's voice could be heard underneath the soft music; she was trying to put her baby to sleep amidst soft baby cries.

Marilyn stared out of the window, fascinated by the view. She tried taking in everything her eyes could, with an excited look on her face, a note pad on her laps and a pen in between her fingers.

I had adjusted my seat backwards to catch a quick nap, but it wasn’t happening; so I lay back and watched as Marilyn busied herself scribbling things into her pad.

"You know, I never knew I would be this excited flying for the first time, but it doesn’t compare to the excitement I felt when I got married. I am going to meet my husband in Canada" she volunteered without my asking.

I immediately felt like I was going to throw up. Here was a young lady who was happy because of love. Even if she had nothing to live for, she had love. That was enough for her. It was what made her the happiest person in the world. I couldn’t hold it anymore. I just had to speak to Karine. I had to let her know what I had done. I had to let her know that I was a coward and that I was running away.

"Excuse me," I said as I slowly got up from my seat. "I need to use the rest room; I will be right back" I added.

I rose from my seat, and that familiar dizziness washed over me. I knew, even without putting my hands to my nose, that it would have blood dripping from it. The last thing I remember was Marilyn’s scream. And then it went dark.

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