Page 19 of Irresistible Professor

“But you would only grow to resent me,” I whispered, tears spilling down my cheeks despite my attempts to hold them back. “If it ever came to that, I know you would. And I couldn’t bear the weight of knowing I might be the ruin of your career.”

“Bonnie, please,” he pleaded, his own eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Don’t do this. We can find a way.”

“But at what cost?” I argued, my voice breaking. “I can’t be the reason you lose everything. I can’t bear that responsibility. You mean too much to me.”

“Then don’t push me away,” Ford insisted, his voice filled with urgency. “You’re not responsible for what Greer does. I love you, and I want to be with you. We can face this together, I promise.”

His desperation was palpable, and it felt like my heart was being ripped in two.

“I don’t want to lose you, Bonnie,” he continued, his voice a whisper filled with longing. “Our relationship has been the most wonderful time of my life, and I cherish every moment we’ve had together. I want that to continue.”

His words pierced through me, igniting a flicker of hope amidst the despair. But I couldn’t ignore the reality of the situation. I couldn’t be selfish, not when so much was at stake.

“It’s not that simple,” I said, shaking my head as I uttered the words I never wanted to say. “I’m so grateful for everything we’ve shared, and yes, I will cherish it forever. But I have to let you go, Ford.”

Disbelief etched across his features. “Bonnie, please. Don’t do this. I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “But I can’t be the one who ruins your life.”

Ford stood up, his movements slow and reluctant, as if he couldn’t quite believe what was happening. I could feel the tears streaming down my face, my heart breaking with each step he took toward the door.

“Bonnie, I’ll always love you,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I hope you know that.”

His words echoed in the room, a haunting reminder of what we were losing. I wanted to reach out, to pull him back and beg him to stay, but I knew it was too late. The decision had been made, and there was no turning back.

With a final, lingering glance, Ford passed his hand over his face before he turned and walked out, the door closing behind him with a finality that left me feeling hollow and alone.

The candles flickered weakly, the remnants of our meal growing cold as the night closed in around me. The warmth and coziness I’d tried to create were gone, and leaving the table, I sank onto the couch, my tears flowing freely now, each sob wracking my body with a pain that seemed endless. Had I made the right decision? Or did I just throw away the best thing that had ever happened to me?

But as much as it hurt, I knew I couldn’t risk Ford’s career. He had worked so hard to get where he was, and the thought of being the reason he lost everything was too much to bear. I had to protect him, even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness.

***

The days that followed were a blur of emotions, each one more painful than the last. I tried to focus on my studies, throwing myself into my work in an attempt to forget the emptiness that Ford’s absence had created in my life, and the shattered pieces of my heart that tainted every moment without him.

But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the feeling of loss, the sense that I had made a terrible mistake. Everywhere I looked, I saw reminders of Ford, from the cafe where we’d had lunch to the lecture halls where I used to see him teach with such passion.

I missed him more than I could put into words, missed the way he smiled at me, the way he made me feel understood and cherished. But I couldn’t let myself dwell on those thoughts, couldn’t let myself hope for something that was no longer possible. I’d find a way to live without him, even if it meant that I’d do so with a hole in my heart that no other man would ever be able to fill.

***

It was a cold, rainy Tuesday morning in April, and I was sitting in my business communications class, trying to focus on the professor’s words. The classroom was filled with the soft hum of students typing notes on their laptops, the rain pattering softly against the windows. Despite my efforts to concentrate, my mind kept drifting back to Ford. He had been my rock, my confidant, my everything. Our relationship had been a bright spot in my life, something that made the mundane feel magical. Now, without him, everything seemed dull and colorless. I felt like I was moving through life in a haze, unable to find joy in the things that once made me happy. The rain outside was relentless, as if heaven was mourning with me.

Around me, my classmates were all diligently taking notes, their faces a mix of concentration and boredom. I felt a pang of envy at their ability to immerse themselves in the subject matter, wishing I could do the same.

Just as I was pinching myself to force myself to pay attention, the professor’s voice broke through my thoughts.

“Class, we have a guest lecturer today. Please give a warm welcome to Dr. Ford Kingston, who is joining us from the Astrophysics Department.”

My heart stopped. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Turning, I saw Ford enter the room through the open door. He strode forward, taking my instructor’s place at the podium after shaking his hand. He looked as handsome as ever; his silver hair caught the light, and his blue eyes scanned the room, searching, until they landed on me. The mix of determination and vulnerability I saw in his gaze took my breath away.

What was he doing here? Why would he come to my class, in a department where he didn’t even teach? My mind raced with questions as I tried to process what was happening.

Ford grabbed the microphone, his presence commanding the attention of everyone in the lecture hall. He cleared his throat, his eyes never leaving mine, as he began to speak.

“I know this isn’t my usual classroom,” he began, his voice strong and steady, “but I’m here today because I have something important to say. Something that I want everyone to hear.”

My heart started to race, my pulse quickening as I realized he was here for me. I didn’t know what he was going to say, but the intensity of his gaze and the conviction in his voice told me it was something significant.

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