Page 40 of Rock the Chardonnay

Louise purses her lips, looking remarkably like a therapist. Some part of me dimly recalls that she got her bachelors degree in psychology at one of the Ivy League universities. She’s putting it to good use. “It sounds like he has what you’ve always wanted.”

When she says it, everything clicks into place. Yes. That’s what I’ve always wanted. Zoey Foster fussing over me or noticing when I change my hair. Alex and I dancing in their—no, our— living room. Long dinners filled with laughter and good-natured banter.

And Declan. Declan, morning, noon, and night. Kissing him on the cheek in the morning before he leaves for school. Feeling his arms around me when I get back from tour. Minutes and hours and days and years of Declan.

A future.

A possible future, anyway. One maybe I could have had if I hadn’t run away.

The realization strikes me like a fire tornado. I’m not my mom. I don’t have to make the same choices she does. I have the power to choose my own destiny. I’ve been choosing my own destiny since I graduated high school. Despite the years of traipsing across the country, searching for my home, I know where I belong now. Where I’ve always belonged.

My mom and her choices messed up my childhood. I will not let her mess up my future.

I swallow, feeling a hard knot of saliva moving down my throat. “You are an excellent manager, and the smartest woman I’ve ever met, Louise.”

With a mysterious smile, Louise stands and gathers her tote bag over one shoulder. “I am aware. So you know, after Nashville we have two days free until we need to be in Denver. If there’s anything you need to do.” She pats my back gently. “Now get back to that song. Maybe make it a love song.”

I’ll do more than that.

CHAPTER 21

Declan

Six hours of flying and layovers and shitty airplane food later, Alex and I arrive in Nashville. “Do you think we’re late?” I ask.

“It’s fine, Dad.” Alex stares out the window and yawns. It has been a long day.

I ruffle his hair and lift his backpack from his shoulders. I secure it to our carry-on suitcase. “Do you want to go to the hotel first? We don’t have to go see Daughtry right now.”

Alex shrugs as we wait in the taxi line. “That’s the whole reason we came. Don’t chicken out now, Dad.”

“I’m not chickening out.” I am. I definitely am. All the hours of inhaling other passengers’ B.O. have only made me rethink this grand plan of my mom’s.

And convinced me that I need a shower before I see Daughtry.

“Do they even allow suitcases in music clubs?” We step forward but there are still five people ahead of us in the taxi line. “I have no idea what to say to her.”

Alex rolls his eyes, which makes him seem more himself. “Tell her more of your chemistry puns. If they haven’t scared her away by now…”

Well, there go plans A, B, and C.

“But I know Daughtry,” Alex says to the bouncer, standing to his full fifty-inch frame. “Let me in.”

The bouncer, a hulking white man wearing a cowboy hat that’s decorated with what’s either mud or maybe blood, shrugs. “No kids in the club.”

“Maybe you could call Daughtry and ask,” I say, my hand on Alex’s shoulder.

“It’s against policy.” The bouncer leans around me and Alex and checks the IDs of two young women behind us, whose skirts are so short, I wonder if I need to discuss anatomy with my son.

That is not on the agenda for today.

“I understand policy, but this is a matter of love,” Alex says. Damn, the kid has balls. Didn’t inherit them from me. I make a mental note to thank Josie the next time she calls. “Have you ever been in love?”

The bouncer rolls his eyes, colorless in the neon lights reflected from the glass. “It’s a bar. We don’t do love here, kid. Only bad decisions.”

Alex’s face erupts with outrage. “But the Vendetta play here! They don’t make bad decisions. The Vendetta is not just about music, they’re—”

“Hey, Alex.” Selene Huynh, the drummer for the Vendetta, walks past the bouncer, flashing her ID. “What are you doing here?”

---