Page 41 of Make Me Bee-lieve

Because I just know that the second I’m inside of her, I’m going to come. A lot. The thought of disappointing her makes me go flaccid for half a second until she nuzzles my neck with her nose.

“I’ve never been more certain of anything,” she says. “I want you inside of me. I want you to come in me, on me, wherever you wish. I want to know what it feels like to have you deep.”

Oh, fuck. Heat creeps across every inch of my body at the invitation, and I say, “But what about the knights? What if they find us when we’re … we’re busy?” My voice cracks on the last syllable. I’m such a loser, but Polina doesn’t even seem to notice.

“Then they’ll see us, I suppose,” she says as she sits upright and begins to undo the stays of her dress.

Oh, geez. How am I having my first sexual experience at my age, first of all? And why does it suddenly feel like I’m fourteen again and in my mother’s basement with Betty Mason? We were about to kiss on the sofa when I accidentally belched in her face thanks to the soda I’d chugged moments before. This time, I haven’t had anything to drink, so that’s not a danger—premature ejaculation is my bigger concern.

I drag a palm down my face as I watch her undress. Or at least, try to undress, and that’s when I realize … despite how confident she’s been trying to sound, Polina is just as awkward about this as I am.

“Po,” I say, trying to get her attention. “Polina.”

But she doesn’t listen to me. She’s too busy buzzing frantically as she struggles with her dress.

“Let—let me do that,” I say, and move across the flower petal to take her hands into mine, stopping her. “You’ll damage your dress.”

Polina sighs. “Very well. Yes. Help me, then,” she says, and drops her arms to her sides in surrender. I position myself behind her and very gently tug at the satin ribbons holding her bodice together. I’ve never so much as unhooked a bra before, and here I am undoing a princess’s bodice.

But Polina, either because she’s as inexperienced as I am or because she’s trying to be nice to me, doesn’t notice how sweaty my hands are, or how awkward and clumsy I am with untying the ribbons. Instead, she waits patiently until I untie the last one and sigh.

“Okay. Done,” I say. “And I didn’t rip anything.”

Polina’s bare back isn’t what I was expecting. The strange notches in her upper shoulders would probably be a gruesome sight had I not already expected them—after all, her wings have to go somewhere when they aren’t being used, right? And then there are her delicate, rainbow-hued wings glimmering in the moonlight. They’re pressed against her back, traveling the length of her spine. I can’t even see where they end because they disappear into her dress.

“Thank you,” Polina murmurs, then looks over her shoulder. She brushes her hair aside, giving me a better view of her face. “Um … now what?”

I gulp. “I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know how this is done,” she says. “But for starters, I’d like you to touch me.”

POLINA

“Istill think this is risky,” he whispers. “They could be back to get us at any second, and I don’t want anything to ruin the moment.” There’s an odd timbre to his voice, and I know he doesn’t believe what he’s saying. He doesn’t think my knights are coming for me. It’s obvious he doesn’t.

But I know that they will. Deep inside my heart, I believe in them. If their princess cannot keep faith in her own knights, then who will? They’re coming. They’re just waiting to secure the hive first. That takes time. And maybe they’re talking things over with Aunt Elza.

“Cal, there’s no pressure to do this,” I say, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice, though I know I’m failing. “This is not a command. It was merely a request, because I care for you. But I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.”

Calvin clears his throat and lowers his hands onto my shoulders. His palms are so warm, especially now that the night air has cooled everything off. Even though it’s the beginning of the summer months, it’s getting downright chilly out here.

“That’s not what I said,” he murmurs. “I definitely want to do this. I just wanted to make sure we wouldn’t be interrupted.”

I turn around to face him and smile. “I understand your fear. And yes, I’ve thought of that, too. But once we’re back at the hive, that’s it. I don’t get to leave again until my maiden flight.” I gesture with a single arm up at the night sky and say, “I’ve always wanted my first time to be underneath the stars. I know it’s probably stupid, but…”

Calvin lifts my chin with his fingers as his gaze darkens. “No, no. It’s not stupid. It’s sweet. You want your first time to be outside, among the stars and flowers. That’s memorable. I get it. At least, I think I do.”

I nod. “Yes. So, you see … this is the only opportunity we may have.”

He leans forward and presses his lips against mine as his fingers weave through the wavy strands of my hair. It’s a strange feeling, having someone else touch my hair. Someone who isn’t one of my handmaidens, whose ministrations were always mechanical in nature. They were doing a job, but Calvin is creating music with each brush of a fingertip. He deepens the kiss and presses me onto my back. Then he pulls away from my mouth to pepper kisses along my collarbone, down to the top of my bodice, which is now loose and ready to be pulled free.

Calvin’s hands glide down my sides and gently pull my bodice down, freeing my naked breasts. He is probably used to human women. I’m not sure what they look like naked, but probably nothing like me. Does he find me appealing, or is he disappointed? I search his gaze for any hint of emotion, only to find him staring at my breasts like he’s just opened a treasure chest filled to the brim with gold, like the kind I read about once in a human story called Treasure Island.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers. He reaches for my breasts and gathers them gently in his palms, feeling the weight of them. It feels good, having them massaged like this, but then he surprises me again by licking one of them. His tongue rolls one of my hardened nipples, and it’s a strange, welcome sensation that makes my thighs twitch in delight.

“How does this feel?” he rumbles in a deep voice I’m not used to hearing come out of him. It sends a shock straight through my clit.

“It feels…” I begin, but I’m unsure what to tell him. Honestly, it’s too embarrassing to tell him how I really feel, so I lie. “I don’t know. Fine?”

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