Page 111 of A Forever Love

A tic pulses in his jaw before he releases a deep breath, turning toward me. His eyes are stormy, like gray clouds swirling in a green backdrop. “I hate lying to Keith and keeping things from him, Mere. All my life, I’ve tried to avoid situations that make me feel guilty, and hiding this from Keith feels like a tightening noose of guilt around my neck every second.” Unable to see him so frustrated. I bury my head in his chest, and Carter pulls me closer. “I hate where my thoughts go with this,” he whispers into my hair.

“Tell me.” I look up to his face, which is pulled in agony. “Please,” I almost plead.

“Don’t you think he’ll wonder what else I lied about, or worse, asked you to lie about all those years when you were still too young?”

“Carter,” I gasp, my heart aching at how swiftly everything has changed. Moments ago, I was in such a happy mood, and now fear fills every recess of my mind. I wonder if everyone will judge and dissect one of the best things in my life. “I don’t like those thoughts either.”

“But could you blame your father? You’re one of the best things in his life, and here I am, not just claiming you but also throwing it in his face that you’re equally, if not more, close to me.”

“Love isn’t a competition, and I’m not a prize,” I reply with a shaky breath. The conviction in my words is weaker than a mere whisper.

“No, you’re not. You’re like a blessing, and you were not mine to claim, at least not according to Keith. He still prefers the prospect of Brandon.”

“Now you’re just saying things to make us both feel bad,” I mumble, burying myself further in his warmth, hoping he’ll stop reminding me of all the things that are probably right but also hard to accept at the same time.

“I’d like to stay in this bubble too, Mere, but I don’t want to be blind to what is a realistic possibility.”

I don’t respond to his comment, because I know whatever I say won’t be enough or right for Carter. I close my eyes and imagine a day a year from now. Carter grilling in our backyard with Dad and the other Kingsmen. They’re all wearing Jane Austen T-shirts and laughing at some joke. On the porch swing, Poppy, Sage, Adrianna, and Spring are bundled up, their heads buried in the books I got for them. As always, Poppy is reciting the story verbatim, her fingers moving too fast over the paper, completely out of sync with the letters on the pages. Inside the house, Clem and our gang are arguing over a movie for our girls’ night. Everything is perfect.

“I don’t know why, but even right now, if I think of us, the only thought that comes to my mind is how perfect we are together. How can something that feels as right as my next breath be so wrong?”

“You’re a true romantic, mittens.” There’s a smile in his voice.

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“No. It’s a very good thing. The best thing.”

* * *

Carter and I return to our room after a lavish dinner at the hotel’s dining hall. The extravagant ambiance and delicious food do a good job in successfully deflecting our focus from the earlier conversation. Now, I’m once again excited about all the shopping I did in a frenzy. I spread everything out on the bed while Carter takes a shower in the bathroom. Without thought, I pick up the colorful bookmark, and as soon as I read the words, hope springs in my chest.

“You look like such a cliché nerd right now, mittens.” Carter grins as he prowls toward me, barefoot, dressed in black sweatpants with a white towel casually hanging around his neck. His dark wet hair is artfully tousled to the side, and his dimpled smile makes my breath catch like it used to four years ago. “The only thing missing from this picture is your cat.” I offer him the bookmark as he slides next to me, but he doesn’t look at it and smiles. “Read it for me.”

“Do not give way to useless alarm…though it is right to be prepared for the worst, there is no occasion to look on it as certain.” I read the quote from Pride and Prejudice. “What do you say—can we try not to think about things that might happen but also might not?”

Indecision is clear on his face, but after a beat, he shakes his head. “Okay, but as soon as we’re back home, I want to tell Keith. Everything.”

“Carter, I can talk to Dad—”

“No, Mere. I need to be there when Keith finds out about us. I won’t hide behind you or anyone else.”

“Let’s do it together, then?” I ask and he gives me a slow, agreeing nod. “And we won’t talk about this in the next few days, promise?”

He leans closer, his face inches from mine. “It’s not that I don’t love having you all to myself like this. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have thoughts about kidnapping you, keeping you away from everyone, and never letting you go. But you’re a light that shouldn’t be kept hidden. You deserve to shine in this world.”

“Carter King, do you know you are the best boyfriend in the world? You put the Rochesters and Darcys to shame.”

“I don’t like that word.” He grunts in a way that is just adorable, even though I’d never tell him that.

“Darcy?” I ask and get no response. “Rochester?” Still nothing. “Um…boyfriend?”

He freaking flinches. “That sounds so high school and temporary, like a pair of socks or underwear.”

“Have you seen yourself in the mirror?” My voice pitches higher after a moment’s shock. “You are the last person someone would compare to a sock or underwear. But a model who’s only wearing those? Now that’s a different story.”

His lips twitch a little. “Hold your horses, cowgirl.”

“What can I say? My mind runs wild when I imagine you in underwear while you sit before me, smelling like a spring forest—fresh and misty.” I jump into his lap, and he catches me without hesitation.

---