Page 17 of A Forever Love

“Then what the hell is this?” She retrieves something from under the table and places it on my lap.

My chest ricochets at the sight of my pink-and-purple scrapbook. I had turned my room upside down searching for it before leaving for college. The cold metal spine digs into my bare thighs as Clem flips it open. Pictures of Carter and me from all the years emerge on the pages, and in my head, I see not just the captured moments but every second of those memories like a reel. She turns to the next two pages, where it’s just him in some candid shots I took discreetly. These were my favorites of all.

“I wasn’t prying or trying to find hidden secrets, Mere. Last year, during pest control, I came across a box under your bed containing this and some old books. I left everything else untouched, but I thought it was best to keep this in my office locker.”

“Does Dad suspect anything?” Cold sweat breaks out across my forehead and palms.

“When you refused to come home that first Christmas, do you think your dad didn’t worry? You never called, and when we tried to reach you, you only replied with yes or no. Then we saw you at your grandparents’. God, Mere, it was agonizing trying to hold back my tears. All I wanted was to bring you home. You seemed so lost.”

Her voice starts to break, and I’m filled with emotions—some guilt, some pain.

“You barely talked to us,” Clem continues. “You barely ate. I don’t know what would have happened if we hadn’t found you a therapist. Your dad hardly slept the next few months—worry consumed him. I’d never felt more helpless. I knew you needed me, but you weren’t letting me in.”

Clem’s warm hands hold mine, and a tear escapes her eye and trails down her cheek. “But then you called, and that day, I saw Keith cry for the first time ever.” Her shoulders slump as if the weight of her worries presses on her once again. “You told him about the upcoming science competition and the courses you were planning to take. I was so relieved to finally have you back that all I wanted was to forget those horrific six months. Then, I found this, and it was like the last piece of the puzzle.” She tips her gaze toward the scrapbook on my lap. There’s a moment of silence before Clem asks, “How long?”

A chill shoots down my backbone, leaving me feeling cold and numb, and the world around me blurs. I swallow a gasp, and my words come out broken. “It’s a stupid crush.”

“One doesn’t hide a thousand miles away from home for a crush, Mere.”

“He sees me as a kid, someone he used to babysit and nothing more. Please don’t fantasize about something that isn’t there.”

“Mere, look at me.” Clem holds my face between her soft hands, forcing me to meet her gaze. “You like this guy, and God knows for how long. Your feelings are not a fantasy to me.”

Frustration builds inside me like an untamed fire. Clem’s words and sympathetic expressions are giving the darkness inside me space to breathe, but I cut its oxygen. “Well, this guy is Carter, Clem. He’s Dad’s colleague, and for God’s sake, now that Carter is the CEO, doesn’t it make him Dad’s boss?”

“Technically, yes. But Keith is a partner at Kings Security now.”

“Can we please not talk about this?” The heels of my palms dig into my eye sockets. “I just need to get him out of my mind, out of my system. I looked up to all the Kingsmen since I was five, and Carter was like a friend, a babysitter, and a counselor all rolled into one. I mistook his care for something more. It’s natural.” I repeat all the things I’ve told myself over the years.

Clem leans back in her seat. I expect her to finally give up, but Clementine wouldn’t be herself if she didn’t manage to surprise people. “What happened at your prom, Mere? You went with that Brendon kid.”

“Brandon Taylor,” I correct her. Brandon is one of my few friends from the world outside Kings. We bonded over a common grief—his dad left him and his mom when Brandon was only eight.

“So he tried something?” She waves her hand in my general direction.

“God, no.”

“Then?”

A deep sigh slips past my lips, and a conflicting surge of irritation and fear of opening my heart washes over me. How the heck did I ever think I could escape Clementine’s interrogation?

“I stopped deluding myself that he loves me back.” My eyes burn, betraying the tumultuous emotions swirling inside me.

“Mere.” She grabs my hand, making me aware of my slip-up. Crap!

“I don’t want to become like my dad.” A lie escapes my lips before Clem can say anything, and that silences her. “I don’t want to get stuck on someone who isn’t mine and then take a decade to realize my mistake.”

Clem’s eyes widen as if this was the last thing she’d expected to hear. “You and your thoughts scare me sometimes. You sound so mature.”

An unexpected smile tugs on my lips. “There’s a reason everyone calls me an old soul.”

“This isn’t old, Mere. This is ancient. Keith didn’t have anyone to help him out of his grief. But you had me—you still have me. Remember when I married your dad, I promised you that our friendship would stay the same. I’ll never share any of your secrets with Keith unless—”

“Unless it’s about my safety and well-being,” I finish for her.

“Exactly.”

“I just need some more time away from here, this place, his presence.” A deep ache settles in my bones. Over the past few days, I’ve soaked up so much love, but leaving all of this once again will be so damn hard.

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