Page 83 of Promised Love

“If ever in the future I’m not reachable and you need help, these guys will do anything for you. You can always depend on my friends.”

He’s giving me an alternative.

Lukas sitting next to me, holding a pale blue ceramic mug with red mushrooms all over it, doesn’t look like the man who was with me in this room before Mom barged in on us. He doesn’t even look like the man who was with me in the forest.

It seems the shower he took a few minutes ago did more than clean his body. It cleared his brain, reminding him of the reality with which we started, and he’s reprogrammed to the original state.

While for me, today feels like one of the most significant days of my life. My heart palpitates not knowing where we go from here. He said…those words. Love. And since then, I’ve been struggling with my feelings.

But apparently for him, one shower was enough to know what he wants, and that’s to remain as we started.

Is this what it’s like to be older and more mature?

28

LUKAS

The next day on our ride to St. Peppers, Autumn sits quietly next to me on the passenger seat. And I’m the fucking reason for her missing smile.

Yesterday, I had planned nothing more than to take her on a ride and show her the beautiful waterfall I’d discovered by chance.

But what happened there was all…her. She has this ability to pull out emotions I don’t even know exist inside me.

With her, I’ve started to feel as if there’s a purpose to my otherwise meaningless life. As if there’s someplace I belong. A feeling I tried to chase all my life but that always remained out of reach.

I cannot believe that out of all the places I’ve traveled in the world, I’d feel a sense of belonging in her arms. My twisted brain whispers once again that Autumn was brought to my life by my mother. Maybe it’s her working from beyond this world, trying to save me from a loveless life like hers.

Listen to yourself, Lukas. What the hell are you thinking?

“The last time I was on this street, I was so scared,” Autumn whispers, pulling me away from my crazy thoughts. “And then when I reached the hospital, I was…so nervous. There were all these people worrying about you, and I knew not a single one of them.”

The guilt for keeping her in the dark resurfaces, but I tell myself once again that I only lied for her. “It must have been confusing, but they’re all good men.”

I slow down her car outside the main gate of Kings Security, and Greg, one of the main gatekeepers, gives me a nod and lets us in.

A touch of nostalgia hits me as I look around at the huge practice grounds, and even though it’s almost dinnertime, there are a few men training.

“Wow, it’s like a military camp,” she whispers as I drive farther inside.

“It’s more like a village. Connor made sure this campus has everything we need. There are apartments there.” I point to a building, where I live, and then to the other side of the campus. “There’s Tiki’s Diner and a small general store.”

“This is a world in its own,” Autumn gushes.

“There are even some cottage-style row houses, where Keith now lives with his family. They’re the ones who’ve invited us for dinner.”

“It was his daughter…who you were driving from school, right?” she asks, motioning toward my shoulder where I took the bullet, reminding us of the moment that led to her entry into my life.

My hands on the wheel tighten as I think about what could have happened to Merida if I wasn’t there.

“I’m sure Keith is very thankful to you. Not every man can do that, you know, risk his life for others.”

I park outside Keith’s house and turn in my seat to face Autumn. “I know what Merida means to Keith. I also know he’d have done the same for me, if it was you in her place.”

I get out of the car, suddenly feeling agitated because my brain casted an image of someone running behind Autumn with a gun.

“I’m not your daughter, Lukas,” Autumn comments after joining me.

Our eyes meet in silence, and before more words can be exchanged between us, I hear sounds of laughter coming from inside the house.

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