Page 61 of Promised Love

“Apologize?” She crinkles her nose in a way that is simply adorable, reminding me once again of my mistake last night. “For what?”

Is she serious?

“For ravaging you like a teenager. For taking advantage of you—”

“Advantage?” She gets up from her desk. “Did you forget I was almost dry humping you?”

I close my eyes, and all I can think about is that moment.

Us, in the back seat of the car. It definitely didn’t feel like she wasn’t interested—

She was drunk, you asshole!

“Autumn, we were both drunk. We didn’t know what we were doing. It happens.” I try to ignore my racing heartbeat and shrug as if it’s no big fucking deal.

“So you’re telling me it happens that you end up in the back seat of a car, dry humping some random girl?” Her lips purse. Her hands curl into fists as if she’s just imagined me in that inopportune situation.

“Do you really think I’d do that?” My gaze locks with hers, angry and irritated that she’d even ask this.

“I don’t and that’s why I don’t understand why would you say something like this.” She shakes her head, the scowl on her face staying in place. “You’re trying to make me believe that what happened was…dirty and wrong. Why?”

I’m sent back into another spin down Guilt Lane and heave a sigh, trying to take the bitterness I feel for myself out of my voice. “Autumn, listen to me. I’m sorry for making you feel shitty. Maybe what happened wasn’t dirty, but it was wrong.”

But she doesn’t listen. Instead, she rocks me with her next words. “Have you been with anyone since we got married?”

There are very few moments when I’m tongue-tied, but this is definitely one of them. My brain struggles with the image of my young bride and this feisty girl before me being the same person.

I can’t believe she’s unnerving me so easily. I was a Navy SEAL for God’s sake. I’ve dodged bigger bullets than this. “There’s no point to that question.”

“Who says that?” She circles her desk and stops before me. When she tugs a strand of her silky hair behind her ear, I notice the red-orange maple leaf earrings.

She takes a step forward, and I’m forced to step back.

“Autumn.” I bring my hands between us as if shielding myself from whatever sorcery she’s trying to weave, and it does the trick. Her confidence slips a bit, and I take that opportunity and ask, “What are you doing?”

She looks at me under her lashes, then squares back her shoulders. “I want to know what would have happened if the driver hadn’t stopped the car outside the inn.”

And fuck, I have to bite back a groan, because what would have happened is that I’d have finished what we started. I wouldn’t have left both of us hanging. We would have continued once we were back in our room.

But all that would have happened with someone else and not my teenage bride.

“Nothing would have happened. I’d have remembered that you’re twelve years younger than me. Someone who was bound to me even before we were born.”

Her face crumbles, and I continue in a softer voice.

“I’m sorry for confusing you, Autumn, but we should never forget our reality. Our paths wouldn’t have crossed if not for our grandparents.”

“But…there’s something between us, isn’t there?” She doesn’t drop her gaze from my face.

I’m so fucking confused right now. I’m proud she’s standing her ground and angry she’s giving my crazy brain false hope. But, because she doesn’t deserve to be lied to, I tell the truth. “We’re like those two people who suffer from the same illness, Autumn.”

She jerks back, hurt stark in her eyes. “I feel like a disease to you?”

God, I’m horrible at this confrontation-and-explaining-myself thing. My heart pounds watching her face, which is slowly turning red with embarrassment. “You’ve known me for a long time, Autumn. Do you really think that’s how I see you?”

When she softly shakes her head, the pain in my chest dulls a little.

“I mean, what we share is understanding and…friendship.”

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