Page 71 of Hart Breaker

I’m halfway in when she yells out, “You’re so fucking big!”

“Never been harder in my fucking life,” I admit as I work my way inside of her. “Fucking tight, too, so fucking tight. Jesus, this is un-fucking-real, Brooksie, un-fucking-real,” I groan as I thrust all the way in, hovering over her, watching her try to catch the breath I just fucked out of her.

I stay just like that, one elbow on the bed, holding me up, so I can kiss her beautiful fucking face, the other hand rolling her nipple.

“No, no, no. Shit, Hudson, you have to?—”

“What’s wrong? What did I do?”

“Condom!” she yells frantically.

“Doesn’t that defeat?—”

“I need to get tested. He fucking cheated on me. I don’t know if?—”

“I’m good.” I roll my hips. “Never been inside of anyone bare. And Riley, I’m not fucking saying this for any other reason, but it’s the goddamn truth. I’m never fucking wearing a condom again.”

She pushes at me. “I am not giving you a damn disease.”

“I want to share my fucking life with you.” I lean down and suck on her neck. “I wanna share everything. If that includes a few bumps that itch a little bit, at least it’s a start.”

“You’re freaking insane,” she laughs, pushing against my chest with everything she has.

To be perfectly honest, it ain’t much, but I let her have it, especially because there’s not a tear in her eyes right now. Those brown eyes, they’re doing that thing Riley Brooks’ eyes do—they’re sparkling, and that’s fucking beautiful.

FOR LO

Riley

Hudson Hart is a freaking rock star on the field and between the sheets, I think as I look up, watching my ceiling fan go around and around, still lying in the exact spot I was when he left. The wet spot, and I don’t even care.

I still feel him between my legs. He’s freaking huge, thick, veiny, and long. I have never felt a man’s balls bounce off my ass unless I was taking him from behind, but his did. And it’s completely possible that I have a bruised taint.

I’m hyper-fixating on the physical part of what just went down because the emotions he made me feel, the words he said, the way he said them, and the way I think he believes them make me wonder if they ever actually happened or if I just romanticized them as I did with Devon.

To be honest, Devon never said anything like that to me, but boy, did I want him to.

He never wanted kids with me or anyone for that matter. His life was his bar, his family was his patrons, yet still, they were kept at arms length. Me? I was a convenience. I know this because I tested that theory by leaving, and I did that more than once. It was never longer than a week that I went back until the last time.

It still hurts, but in a different way. I never in a million years thought that I would truly forgive myself for not just going back. I always thought if I had, he would have never been in that car, and Mick and I would not have had our fucking hearts shattered.

Today, I realized I was over it. I forgave myself, and I did that when Brett asked me if I would be able to live with myself if another man died because I was being, and I quote, “a delusional fucking child.”

Brett? Want to fucking joke? Our first time was one of those just-the-tip moments until it wasn’t. I wasn’t ready for that. Yet still, I romanticized my first time, completely focusing on the words he said after.

“I can’t believe you wanted it that bad. I didn’t think I was ready, but you showed me otherwise.” He laughed. “I love you, Rylie. It’s you and me forever.”

If, one day, I am lucky enough to have a little girl, I’m gonna have to figure out a way to teach her about consent and tell her boys like that will always take what they want and try to manipulate you into believing you wanted it too. How many years has it been? Eleven fucking years.

When everything went down today, I finally let him have it. I finally told him I knew exactly who he was and that he would never change. That’s when he threatened to tell Hudson I was a washed-up old fucking bitch.

I laugh to myself. “He called me a fucking bitch.”

I’m not sure why this is so funny right now, but I’ll take that over anger. Anger gives him power over me, and fuck him, his average dick and his subpar way of using it. There’s nothing powerful about men like him.

Hudson Hart is definitely a different breed.

I remember Aunt Maggie telling all of us to watch the way they treat their mothers. My face literally hurts. I’m smiling so big as I am right now as I recall every interaction I’ve witnessed with Hudson and his mom, not to mention his sister and sister-in-law.

---