Me:
You’ve got the wrong number.
Unknown:
Don’t be a dick, Hart. If it wasn’t for me, my sister would have never told you, and you’d be in purgatory forever. Lauren.
Me:
I’m confused about how you deserve a thank you for lying to me for over two years. As far as I’m concerned, you’re both on my shit list.
Unknown:
I’d do anything for my siblings, and I know you’d do the same.
Me:
I wouldn’t bet the brewery on that.
They’d never ask me to lie like that—ever. But if they did, yeah, of course I would. Right now, however, I’m pissed, and I’m gonna wallow in that for a while. It’s the unfortunate kind of happy accident that this is going to work out in my favor for Thursday night’s game in Vegas.
Unknown:
I’m calling bullshit.
Me:
How about you text it instead?
Unknown:
?????
Me:
Bullshit, so then you’ll leave me alone. I have an early flight, and even if I didn’t, yours and your sister’s asses are in a time-out.
Unknown:
Not a great time to bury your head in the sand, asshat. It’s now time for you to set the dial to woooo.
Me:
Out of respect for the girls I thought I knew, I’m giving you a heads-up before I block you. HEADS-UP.
And yeah, I block her. Fuck yeah, I do, but after I save her contact info, because… fuuuuccckkk.
I throw my phone against the fucking wall, roll over, fluff my pillow, close my eyes, and pray I get some fucking sleep. But that’s not happening because I hear Boone’s voice outside my door.
“Little Brooks, you should give him a break right?—”
Lauren Brooks throws open my door and storms into my room. “Do you know who I am? You don’t get to block me, you dipshit.”
I sit straight up and snap, “Clearly, I don’t fucking know you.”
She holds out her little paw, trying to look like a badass. “Give me your phone now.”
“Listen up, twisted little sister, I have a game to prepare for, and you and Riley have fucked my routine right in the ass without the courtesy of even spitting on your dicks. I’m going to sleep.”