Page 19 of Hart Breaker

My room is almost as big as the entire trailer we once lived in growing up. It spans the entire side of the house and has windows facing both east and west. So, from my bed, I can catch both the sunrise and sunset. I don’t see the sunset often, but I live for those sunrises over the lake.

But today, it annoys the hell out of me. Why? Because from my huge-ass comfy bed, I can also see my security system on my phone screen, and I saw the minute Riley and Sydney took off, which was exactly three minutes after we got a text that the roads were re-opening. That was an hour ago, and I have yet to get up because I’m lacking the fucking enthusiasm I usually have when I open my eyes the first time on this one day a week during the season that I can do whatever the hell I want to. More importantly, eat whatever I want to, even though it feels like shit when I overdo it, which I typically do anyway.

Today’s gonna be a stomachache kind of day because I’m fairly certain I’m gonna eat my feels, just like I did when I was a little fat kid, looking out a tiny-ass window from the top bunk of my bed in that mobile mansion wondering if today was gonna be a good day, or a bad day.

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Riley

Syd didn’t say much on the way back from Harts’ … fucking mansion. And as much shit as I had to say, specifically about the fact she slept in a bed with Lily and her hot daddy until I woke her, I’m not one of those who throws stones at glass houses.

Syd knows shit. Specifically, she knows shit from our college years, and I don’t really feel like going back to those times.

As I pull into the parking lot to drop her off at her pale pink Jeep, which is totally Syd, she clears her throat and in her teacher voice, says, “I know that was hard for you.”

“Not gonna lie and say it wasn’t.” I grin.

She arches a brow. “You know there was a child between us, right?”

And now I have to say, “Which is probably why you don’t have one in you right now.”

“He’s fuck hot, and I may have considered for a moment what it would be like to be a step-mom, but he’s very much in love with his ex. And that is”—she clutches her imaginary pearls and lays a palm to her heart—“just so touching.”

“Tell me you want to get nakey with BDB without telling me you want to get nakey with BDB.”

I see the wheels turning inside that pretty blonde head of hers and reach over to pet her.

Sadly, she sees it coming and bats it away. “I’m not stupid.”

Just clueless, I think but don’t want to press the point, seeing I’d really like to get home and shower off the smell of Harts’ … home.

“Big Daddy Boone may be a fuck boy, but I do believe he’s a real good dad.”

“You don’t think he’d be a faithful lover?”

I feel my brain actually stutter as I try to figure out how the hell to unpack that and answer it in a way Syd needs me to.

“To Lindsey, to keep their family together, yeah, I can see him being that guy.”

“Like Cody and Drew,” she states.

Fuck me, does she not understand that dynamic?

She sees it and addresses it face changing colors. “And Dean. I’m not stupid. I just?—”

“Can’t say it without turning bright red?”

“It’s just”—she pauses—“very unconventional.”

“She’s living the dream,” I note.

“Love is beautiful when it’s true. I believe theirs is, I see it. But I can’t imagine sex with two men.”

“Can’t imagine?” I hold back a laugh. “Women fantasize about it. It’s hot.”

“It may come as a surprise to you, but I like a little bit of jealousy. I like my man to look at other men with his teeth bared, warning them I’m his. I don’t want my man to chub up at the thought of sharing me with anyone else.”

“Makes sense.”

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