Page 18 of The Biker's Vow

“Fair enough.” I understand more than she realizes.

“When I saw that negative test, I wanted to cry.”

“Because you wanted it to be positive?”

“Is it bad of me that I thought if it were that it would fix all our problems?”

I wish I could tell her that I wish it could be that simple for either of us.

“Or make them more magnified.” My stomach gurgles and burns at the thought. “Babies don’t solve relationship problems.” They can also end them.

“You and Smoke will be fine.”

I don’t respond. My intuition tells me otherwise. Like Smoke said, we’re not going in the same direction. He wants a family. I can’t give him that.

The two of us sit in silence for a spell. Both of us lost in our own thoughts and problems. Eventually Sabrina dozes off and I stare out the front window wishing Smoke would return.

The rumble of a motorcycle sounds in the distance. Hope blooms in my chest and quickly wilts at the sight of Jimmy pulling into the driveway.

I trudge down the hallway to mine and Smoke’s… my bedroom to give them privacy.

Stripping down to my undies, I grab one of his dirty tees off the chair in the corner, bringing the dark fabric to my nose and inhaling his scent. Fresh tears stain my cheeks as I push the worn cotton down over my body, desperately seeking a connection to him.

All I want to do is go find him to convince him that we belong together. I don’t doubt that he loves me. That I’m sorry and will never make him question my feelings for him.

Show him that nothing else matters as long as we’re together.

Not even my not being able to give him the child he so desperately wants to have.

That’s the difference between fantasy and reality, though.

The front door slams shut with an alarming thud.

“You’re pregnant!” Jimmy’s voice roars down the hallway.

I don’t want to eavesdrop on their conversation. Grabbing my earbuds out of their case, I climb into bed on Smoke’s side, snuggling into his pillow. With my earbuds in place, I queue up one of my playlists and open the gallery on my phone, swiping through pics of my man.

Unable to resist, I fire off a text message and wish he’d come home.

Where are you?

Minutes or maybe hours tick by with no response and I no longer hear noise coming from the living room.

It’s nearly dawn, and I can’t sleep.

I have to see him.

I yank a pair of pajama shorts on and sweep my hair into a bun, not caring that I’m still wearing last night’s makeup. The spare key to Smoke’s truck beckons me from the junk drawer in the kitchen.

We rarely spend a night apart outside of his nights with the fire department or when he’s doing something for the club.

He’s going to be leaving for a month. We can’t end things like this.

I have to tell him. There’s nothing left to lose.

I make it to the front door only to be met by Jimmy.

“You’ll be wasting your time.”

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