Page 107 of Seduction Under the Southern Stars

She has another sip. “Cherries?”

“Mm. And plums and raspberries.”

“It’s smoother than I thought it would be. I thought it would be really sharp.”

“Merlots are sort of in the middle, not too sweet or sharp. You like it?”

“I do.” She has another sip, then puts the glass down.

I smile. “So you were saying, about diet and exercise?”

“Yes, so I started eating more healthily, and Karl also got me into the gym. I began running, and I did some weight training. I must admit I gave that up eventually. But I do run still. I learned that I felt better after I exercised, which of course was what Dad was hoping for. I started going with him on his treks, helping out with the kids. Getting out in the open air. And gradually, I healed. Not completely, as you can see. But I’m so much better than I was.”

I think about the way she has to check the door locks ten times before she’s happy. That’s an improvement? How bad was she?

The waiter brings our flatbread over and places it between us. It’s piping hot, dripping with cray butter, and there’s a small pot of tomato relish to dip it into. We break off a piece each and eat it hungrily, groaning as the delicious taste of the butter floods our mouths.

“That’s heavenly,” she says. “I need to learn how to make this at home.”

“God, yes. It’s amazing.” I watch her eat the flatbread, smiling as she tucks into it. “I’m glad you feel healthier now, and that you’re eating properly. I bet your family is, too.”

She wipes some butter from her bottom lip, her lips curving up a little in a wistful smile as she recalls a memory. “Fraser and Joel used to go to great lengths to try to tempt me to eat when I lived with them. They’d go out, the two of them, and buy all these ingredients, and then the three of us would cook them together, trying out different recipes. They were so patient.”

She picks at the flatbread. “It’s why I feel bad criticizing them, Fraser especially. The day after it happened, when the Flunitrazepam eventually wore off, I got really upset with Joel and Fraser because they were so angry and kept talking about hunting down the guys and hurting them, and it felt as if their attention was on the wrong part of the assault—on them, not on me, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that. But look, a man’s role is to protect his family. Unless you’re spotted hyenas, obviously, we’re supposed to keep our women safe. It’s our job. Our raison d’être, in evolutionary terms. We’ve still got those animalistic instincts embedded deep in our brainstem, and they tell us to be aggressive and take charge. In a civilized society, we have to fight those instincts and accept that women don’t need looking after, and they’re perfectly able to take care of themselves, which of course you can most of the time. But the fact is that physically, most of the time, you’re smaller and not as strong as men. And unfortunately there are guys who haven’t learned to control those animalistic instincts. They take advantage of you. And that leaves us feeling angry and confused because we’ve failed you.”

Her brows draw together. “Is that how you feel? As if you’ve failed me?”

“Of course it does. If I hadn’t kissed you, and stayed here, I might have been around to help and saved you from those fucking animals.” I look down at my plate. Steady, Linc. I wipe up some butter with a finger and suck it off, then look back at her.

“Neanderthal,” she says.

That makes me laugh. “Yeah, maybe.”

Her gaze drops to my mouth. “I kinda like it.”

I quirk a brow at her. “Do you, now?”

“Yeah. Back then it pissed me off. Now… the thought of you getting all grrr and being Mr. Protective is kind of a turn on.”

I push my plate away and lean on the table. “I see. Wow, you’re really getting into this giving up control lark.”

“I feel as if it’s one of the things like with drawing or writing, where you have to learn the rules before you can break them, you know? After the assault, I had to regain control over my own life, physically and emotionally. Joel took me to self-defense lessons, and we used to practice a lot back at the apartment.”

“I’m guessing Fraser didn’t join in.”

“I’d have had him flat on his back in seconds,” she scoffs. “Joel’s pretty good, though, and he’d come at me from behind and put an arm around my neck, and I’d have to try and get out of it. It was never about fighting or anything like that because obviously I’d never be able to beat a guy in a real fight, not unless I learned some serious skills or worked really hard on my strength. It was about disabling the other person so I could get away. It made me feel a lot more confident, and gradually I felt more in control of my own life. Enough to now give a little up to you.” She gives me a mischievous smile.

I smile back, but I’m surprised by the emotion that blows over me like a summer wind. I’m so touched that she’s chosen me to help her through this. That she trusts me enough to give over control sexually to me.

“Are you going to cry?” she teases.

“No.” I have a mouthful of wine. “Maybe.”

“Aw. You’re such a softie.”

“You mean a lot to me, Lora. I can’t explain how it makes me feel that you’re comfortable confiding in me like this. And that, even though I left, and for years you obviously thought I walked out on purpose, you still trust me.”

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