Page 70 of Winning Bid

“A year ago, I might have agreed with you on that. But I’m coming to see that a real relationship means you see the other person at their worst, and you still love them. Yes, what you said to me in the parking lot was fucking awful, and if you start saying something like that on the regular, I don’t know where that will leave us. But I refuse to hold your worst moments over your head because that was only a moment in time. It wasn’t who you are.”

“But that shit … those thoughts … I should have kept them to myself.”

“How could you?” I shake my head at him. “And if you had, where would that have left us? You’d still think I was some spy for Andre or something, and your dad would still have his hooks in your mind. As much as I hated you for saying those things, I am glad you did because we were able to get them out in the open and deal with them. We are a team, and teammates fight. But they’re still a team.”

“So, when something shitty comes up, you want me to talk to you about it?”

“Always. Just maybe next time, remember we’re on the same team.”

Anderson closes his eyes, sighing. Then he pulls me in close for a bear hug. “I have no idea what I did to deserve you.”

“Understand me—I’m still mad about that shit. But I also love you, and we’re in this together, no matter what.”

“Know what I’d like to do now?”

“Something dirty, I imagine.”

He laughs and kisses the top of my head before breaking our hug. “I want to look through the documents we stole.”

“Oh. Well, can’t say I’m not a little disappointed.”

“I promise to do dastardly things to you after.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal.” I send the documents to his printer so we have hard copies, and while we finish up our very late supper, we go over them. Seeing it all laid out, I feel like a fool. I should have seen this coming. “Dammit, I was so fucking naïve this whole time.”

“You were doing your job, baby, you didn’t know.”

I gulp. “You’re sure you believe that now?”

He sighs. “Yes. I know you didn’t do this intentionally, and I will make sure my father knows that, too. Admittedly, a part of me has been wondering about this …”

“What do you mean?”

“He knew he covered his tracks well enough to keep from anyone knowing he was involved in these companies. He knew his aliases were top-notch. But then he blames you for being a spy for Andre, which means either he thinks you are so good that you’d see through aliases that the federal government doesn’t and therefore I should break up with you, or he thinks I’d be so angered by the accusation itself that I’d break up with you. I think he’s banking on how I used to be.”

“I don’t understand.”

As Anderson flicks through the documents, he says, “I used to be a hothead. I was angry all the time. Bitter. Things are different for me now, thank you for that, and if he’s still counting on me to be off-kilter, maybe we can use his underestimation of me to our advantage.”

“I like that idea.”

“And you must stop beating yourself up about not seeing this coming. We’ve been a little distracted by the haddock.”

I snort a laugh. We’re back in our place, and I’m trying not to say things we shouldn’t in case we are wire-tapped, but I shake my head. “There has to be a better metaphor.”

“Well, I mean, when someone sleeps with the fishes?—"

I press my finger to his lips. “We’ll figure out another term. In the meantime, we need to figure out a plan.”

36

JUNE

Looking up at the big building, I feel a little intimidated. “You’re sure about this?”

“As sure as I can be about anything,” Anderson says. He’d set up this meeting, saying Dana Horowitz was like an aunt to him as a child. Dana is one of the best. That's probably why she and Pym don’t get along.”

“But you said she and your mom had a falling out. Why was that?”

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