I push him away. “We need to talk!”
“I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to think. I just want you.”
“You’re being ridiculous! We have to talk about this and face things like adults. And what are we doing talking about this here?”
“If you want to go for a walk, then we can, but it’s raining, and it’s icy, and it’s not as if I’m going to say anything I didn’t say in the interrogation room, so relax.”
I laugh in his face. “Relax? Did you really just say that to me? The police have questioned us both about a possible homicide, and you want me to relax?”
He takes a deep breath and stares into my eyes. “June. Nothing gets solved by panicking, right?”
“Because panicking is optional to you? It’s not to me. Panicking is pretty much my go-to response when the police are sniffing around.”
“Not your first rodeo?” He arches a brow at me.
“No.” I can barely get the word out. The feeling of drowning and that hand dragging me under … God, it comes back so fast.
“What—"
“Now is not the time.” I put enough steel in my voice that he only nods in response. “What are we going to do?”
“We’ve both spoken to the police. Now’s the time when we wait to see what comes of that. If they’re smart, they’ll see we had nothing to do with anything.” He mouths, “Bugs.” Then he continues, “I’m sure they will keep an eye on us in one way or another, and that’s fine. We have nothing to hide. I think our best course of action is to do what we’d normally do.”
The thought of going to work tomorrow is almost as unfathomable as prison. I’m too boggled, too messy. Go there and pretend to be an adult? I’ve run out of my capacity for pretending. It’s just gone.
“I don’t think I can do that. I’m too freaked out. Normal? You mean go to work? Friends? Family? Anderson, I am out of fucks. I have no more fucks to give. The police took them all. How am I supposed to operate like this?”
“There’s option b.”
“Whatever it is, yes.”
“We take a few days off and find a cabin in the woods to renew ourselves.”
I laugh. Hard and loud. “Are you insane? We’re persons of interest in a murder investigation. We are lawyers. We know what that looks like!”
He strolls up to me, putting his hands on my hips. Anderson’s smile makes me want to smack him for being so chill about this. “You’re right. I do know what it looks like. It looks like two people, stressed out, going for a little rest and relaxation. We will call everyone important, tell them we’re sick, and head up north for a little while. We’ve never done a road trip. It’ll be fun.”
“You’re insane.”
“About you.”
I roll my eyes, but I can’t stop myself from smiling. “You’re better than that. Try again.”
He grins. “Baby, it’s not like we’re heading to someplace without extradition. I was thinking about Vermont. No one told us not to leave town or the state or anything like that. We’re not under arrest, and given the circumstances, I think we deserve a chance to enjoy something before this shitshow gets any worse, don’t you?”
He's right about that, at least. Some time away does sound nice, especially out of the city. But the implications are terrible. “And how do we explain this to the police?”
“Why would we? We’re not in their custody. We don’t owe them explanations about our leisure time, and even if we did, what are we doing wrong?”
In all fairness, he’s got me there. “I’m just … I’m just scared, baby.”
“I know.” He kisses my forehead. “And all the noise in that big brain of yours isn’t going to get better here and now. But some time away might be just the thing you need to quiet that down.”
I lean my head on his chest. It feels so good to let him hold me right now. He’s my rock. “So, when you brought up the fact that I keep stuff to myself … is that what inspired this idea?”
“Might be.”
He’s trying to be there for me. I should let him. I take a deep breath of him. His scent always puts me at ease. But I also steal the rest of his scotch again. “Let’s do it.”