Page 29 of Weaving Winter

I was a bundle of nerves, but I trusted Fenling. Tonyah brought back a large tray filled with cheeses, buns, and ice-apples, an apple that only grew in the highest climes. The fruit was pale pink, and had a faint taste that reminded me of a strawberry.

As we ate, I watched Fenling. She seemed both at home, and yet on guard, and I wasn’t sure if she was on guard because of me, or because of the prince. I couldn’t imagine Charla liked having her around because of Karehl’s earlier feelings for her.

“Are you involved with anyone in the Lorani?” I asked.

Fenling laughed. “To be honest, there’s one…rider…I am taken with. But we’ll have to see how things work out. She only joined us a couple of months ago.”

That surprised me. Why, I wasn’t sure, but I hadn’t expected Fenling to be a lover of women. “Her?”

“Yes,” Fenling said. “I’ve always known that I prefer women. Bran knows, but Karehl doesn’t, I think.” Once again, she bit her lip and glanced around. “We’ll talk tomorrow. I’ll show you around the grounds some more.”

“I suppose I should get to bed,” I said. “I’m exhausted.”

“Life on the road can be tiring, but it makes me happy. I think you’re wise to consider joining us in the Lorani.” She saw me to my door, then waved goodnight.

As I stripped, with Tonyah’s help, and accepted the nightdress she brought me, I thought about the castle and the people here. The uneasiness that hung over Eleago left me on edge. There was no chance that I could live here, not with Karehl and his wife in charge.

I climbed into bed and Tonyah tucked me in, then she stoked the fire, added more wood, and tiptoed out. As the heavy bedchamber door slammed shut, I couldn’t help but hope that it wasn’t long before we left for the woods again.

The next morning, after Tonyah helped me dress—again, in a gown from the castle—Fenling caught me before breakfast and we headed out to the court to watch morning life in the castle begin.

The vendors were setting up their wares, and housewives were out shopping, and here and there children raced toward a building at the far end of the courtyard, carrying books and slates, and wooden buckets with their lunches.

I was pleased to see girls among the boys. In Renmark, girls were included in education up till their first moon cycle. Then, except for a rare few, they stayed home to learn how to be a housewife. I’d been lucky. My mother taught me to read, write, and cipher at home, during the times when Da had left me with her. I started going on the hunt with him when I was eight, and so I had little in common with most girls my age.

“So, when did you first know you were attracted to women?” I asked, once we were out of earshot of anybody close by.

Fenling shrugged. “I think when I was young—ten or eleven. All the other girls would talk about marriage and starting a family, and all I could think was that I wanted to stay free forever. I also found girls more interesting, and later on, I found them more attractive. I didn’t want to be weighed down with a husband, or children. I loved to read and to write, and then Bran took me out hunting with him and I discovered how much I loved the forest.”

“I understand what you mean,” I said. “It’s not that I don’t want to get married, but I don’t know how much of my life I’m willing to give up. Who’s the woman who caught your eye?”

“I don’t know if you’ve met her—her name is Zusu, and she’s short and dark haired, with eyes that sparkle. She’s tough, for being so petite, and she can ride better than most of us. I think she prefers women, but I haven’t worked up the courage to ask her, yet.” She hesitated, then said, “You have to be careful around Karehl. You caught his attention last night and that never bodes well for anybody under his rule. Watch out for Chara, as well. She’s vicious.”

“I caught that—both things. I think, perhaps, this isn’t the city for me. And while I’d love to stay with the Lorani, I don’t think I can live here.” I hesitated. “If I do decide I need to travel south, would it be possible to get someone to go with me?”

“I think Bran can arrange that, if it’s necessary. But…I think we can safely keep you away from the prince.” She sighed. “I hate this. We had so much fun when we were little, but he’s changed. Although, perhaps he’s always had a taste for power and I just didn’t realize it.”

“I’ve known types like him. They almost always have tells during their younger days. It’s just not always that easy to see, especially if you like them. My father was like that.” I glanced up at the sky. The snow was sifting down in tiny frozen crystals. “You’re fully into winter here, so it won’t be long before Renmark is under the clouds. We had our first snows there shortly before I left.”

“Tell me, did you leave behind any friends?” Fenling slid her arm through mine as we strolled along.

“I did. One friend—well, two, counting her husband. Sanya and I became friends when we were young. She’s the only one who stuck by me when everything fell apart, and the town was not kind to her because of that. She and her husband own the bakery there. They helped me escape.” I conjured up Sanya’s face in my mind, wishing her well. “I hope that fate graces her with gifts, for all she did for me.”

At that moment, a messenger hurried up to us. “Lady Fenling, I bring a missive from Princess Chara. She bids you and your friend here to attend her for morning tea, at the next gong.”

“Gong?”

“Certain events are marked by the sound of the gong here,” Fenling said. She dug into her purse and brought out a few coins. “Here, take these for yourself.” As she tucked a couple coins into his hand, folding his fingers over them, the young man’s face lit up and he burst into a smile.

“Thank you, Mistress!” He turned and raced off before she could change her mind.

“Oh hell hounds on a spit,” I said. “I don’t want to have tea with her.”

“Neither do I, but we have no choice. That wasn’t an invitation, it was a direct order. Come on. We can’t be late.” She picked up her skirts and began to jog back toward the keep. Reluctantly, I followed suit. Running in dresses, especially heavy ones meant to keep the chill at bay, wasn’t easy. Though I’d mastered the ability back in our own village, given we spent a long winter’s night deep in snow, it didn’t make it any easier.

As we entered the castle, Fenling hurried me up to her room, where Tonyah was already waiting with dainty dresses, the kind I’d seldom ever seen, let alone worn.

“Hurry, now. The princess is waiting,” she scolded, quickly hustling us out of our clothes. We hurried to step into the lighter frocks. Fenling’s was ice blue, almost gray color, and my own was pale rose.

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