Page 92 of Cardinal

Slumping against me, Juliet hugged me tightly and sobbed into my chest for a good moment before recollecting herself just enough. "I want to go home after a moment with Gale." She sniffled, wiping her tears away with the back of her hands.

"Do you need me to go with you?" Honestly, I might go with her either way because the last thing I needed was to check her into the hospital for fainting or snapping.

Sad but grateful, she flashed me a smile and nod before getting up and dragging her feet over to the operating room. Staying right behind her, I watched her hesitate to open the doors the moment she settled her hands against them. For her sake, I had to let her go through with this plan of hers. Taking away her last moments with her best friend would not bode well for me unless I wanted to face Juliet's wrath.

Her slender throat clenched and bobbed with her hard swallow right before her trembling hands shoved the doors open. A gasping cry of horror stifled out of her the moment the room came into full view. "Oh my… Gale…"

Heavy steps and small sobs echoed through the chilly room as we approached the once lively boy. All the equipment had been removed from the body, and only a sheet pulled up to his pale neck remained. "Gale, I'm so sorry. You wouldn't be like this if we didn't go out today… You wouldn't be dead if you didn't know me." Her pained whispers tore at me like claws to my chest.

Lingering by the table side, she tenderly ran her hand through Gale's hair and down his cheek. "I love you, Gale, not how you might have wanted me to, but I love you." Her voice steeled with her calming breaths. "I swear, the people that did this will pay. You'll be able to watch them suffer down in Hell while you sit on your happy little cloud in Heaven." The last thing to fill the air was the faint sound of her kiss upon Gale's forehead before we silently left.

Was I happy about what transpired? No, not particularly, but to be jealous of a dead man would be a new low for me. The man was dead. No competition there. Besides, Juliet didn't love that boy in such a way; everything between them was only ever friendly or sibling-like at best.

My feelings were irrelevant to this situation because the person was dead, and secondly, it was closure for Juliet.

But that wasn't the main point; Juliet and her well-being were.

Fucking hell, what is wrong with me? Jealous of a dead teenager.

Grumbling to myself mentally, I kept a calm composure for Juliet as I led her to the car. "Do you want me to pick anything up for you on the way back?" I asked after opening the car door for Juliet.

Juliet gave me a flat smile and a shake of her head after she settled into the passenger seat. "I just want to go home and be with you, and I want you to make me forget about today."

"Whatever you want and need, principessa, I will provide."

Chapter 45

Juliet

Half of me wanted to continue being a sad potato in bed, and the other half wanted to get on my systems to wreak havoc to vent my turbulent emotions. The latter being somewhat productive and distracting, should be the better choice, but wallowing in the depths of shitty feelings while comfortable in bed right now felt fitting.

"Amorina." My heavy eyes barely managed to find Luciano's lingering figure at the foot of the bed. "Stop. I still see it written all over your face, and I know it's hard, but you need to accept that none of it is your fault." I wanted to snap at him to stop looking at me with his pitying eyes because they made me feel so frustrated.

Yes, none of it was technically my fault, but at the end of the day, if Gale hadn't been with me, then he wouldn't have been shot. Could it have been a chance drive-by? Maybe. However, I wasn't so inclined to believe that because of my connection to Luciano.

If I was supposed to be the intended victim and Gale died in my place—God, I don't know how I would live with that. The shitty fact is that bullet probably was for me. Again, I didn't want to believe in the accidental drive-by theory, given everything. Luciano was a top dog, and if people couldn't go after him, then I was the next best target to cripple him. So, the shooting made sense to me, and if I had been hit, then oh well, at least it would have been better me than Gale.

"Does it ever get any easier?" I asked Luciano numbingly, hugging the life out of the poor pillow I snatched earlier.

Somberly he sighed and shook his head as he rounded the bed and climbed in next to me. "No, and yes. It's never easy to lose someone close to you in this life because they're associated with you, but you learn to disassociate from it and grow numb to it after a while." He didn't sound too happy with the answer he gave me, but I guessed that's how it was. "I really wish I could give you a better answer, but that's how things usually are with mafia life."

Unfortunately, I couldn't help but see the truth of it all, and in the end, I had no one but myself to blame. I chose this life. Luciano didn't force me into it. Hell, he tried to steer me away from it, but I was too stubborn and in love to resist. Even now, the answer was crystal clear: leave. Yet, I couldn't because I love Luciano too much.

He may be wrapped and chained around me, but I was tightly wound around him as well—we might as well be attached to the hip by an unbreakable chain.

Sighing heavily, I replaced the pillow with Luciano, much preferring my human cuddle bear to a feather-stuffed object. "How do I get over this? I don't like feeling this icky." And wallowing around like a depressed sake of shit wouldn't do me any good, either.

"Tuck it in a box and throw it away after you finish grieving." Luciano's chest rumbled with his words, ticking my face a little because I had it pressed firmly against me. "Gale is your first loss, so take your time to let your grief run its course. But don't place any blame on yourself because, yes, again, what happened was very unfortunate, but bad shit happens in this life. If you take everything that happens upon yourself, then you'll end up dead sooner rather than later. Whether by your own hand from your own guilt or recklessness brought on by that same guilt."

Words eluded me as I lay there halfway on top of Luciano, letting his words sink into my mind. "Can we take care of Gale's funeral expenses?" It only felt fair to pay for his proceedings because of how things unfolded with his death. Also, I knew how poor his parents were, so a funeral would be a huge financial hit to them.

"Already taken care of, don't worry." He assured me with a kiss on the top of my head, his hands rubbing slow circles on my back.

"Any luck with tracking down the shooters?" I probably should have taken my mind off the situation instead of diving into it, but knowing myself, my mind wouldn't rest until my questions were answered.

Luciano's body tense with his long breath, and I could see his hesitation plastered across his face when I tilted my head up to look at him. "They'll be awaiting their execution by morning. We tracked them down, and some of the others are going with our men to smoke them out and capture them tonight."

"What if I want them skinned alive and thrown out to the ocean for the sharks to eat them alive?" I shouldn't sound so casual about the gory idea, but they deserved worse, in my opinion.

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