Page 75 of Cardinal

Correction: this wasn't the old me.

The person sitting here relishing the sight of her mafia boss beau beating a man to death because she commanded it was who I had become after being burned by the fire.

They shoved me into The Devil's arms, so I will embrace him back.

I have fallen to Hell, so I shall raise it with Luciano.

Those who wronged me will be nothing but ashes by the time our crusade is over.

Chapter 37

Luciano

"Juliet."

My sigh of pleasure disappeared into the steam of the shower, along with my strangled groans, as I restrained myself from grabbing her head and fucking her face.

This wasn't fair. I couldn't touch her, but she could touch me. "Juliet, please," I begged with a deep groan at the feeling of her taking my cock in deeper into her throat. "Oh fuck, this is torture." I wanted to hold her face against me so badly right now, keep myself completely bottomed out in her.

In one swift movement, she pulled off me completely with a sharp gasp. "Why the fuck am I like this? You just beat a man bloody because I said so, cut his genitals off with a dull knife, and shoved it in his mouth. I should be horrified, not horny." I wish I had a good answer for why she was so torn.

"It's just how we are in this lifestyle. Also, it probably has to do with the fact you got a part of your revenge and watched your man take care of your problems while you remained safe." We were fucked up, but I wasn't about to tell her that right now when her emotions were strung high.

Letting out a groan of frustration, Juliet slapped the shower wall behind me and stood up, running a hand through her wet hair as the showerheads continued to rain water down on us. "I… Ugh!" Scowling, she stomped the tiled floor, splashing water on both of us. "I want to let you back in so badly, and I hate that my heart craves you like a drug addict craves their next high. But I don't want to get hurt again." Her hands gripped her arms tightly to where the flesh of her upper arms blanched.

Pushing off the shower wall, I wrapped my arms around her from behind, tucking her into my body. "And I will never stop killing myself every day for how I wronged you. I will never stop apologizing for the rest of our lives." It really did feel like getting shot in the chest every time I looked at her and saw the somber hurt in her eyes whenever they gazed at me.

"It hurts me to not have you, but I just… I don't know, Luca, I'm just so scared." Her body trembled against me as her sniffling started.

Fuck, I made her cry again.

"Juliet." All I could do was turn her around and hold her tightly as she broke down into full-blown sobs. "I really am so fucking sorry." My voice cracked along with the pattering of the water.

In almost an automatic action, my hand rubbed along the length of her back soothingly while the two of us stood there for a long while. I forced us to get out once the water started getting cold.

"Are you sure you want to see your parents today? If you aren't in the right—"

I didn't get to finish before Juliet tersely cut me off. "I do. I want them dealt with sooner rather than later. Besides, it's just to get everything off my chest. I already hacked their accounts and drained them into the negatives." She was firm in her decision, her soft eyes hard with determination.

Leaving the dresser, she came to a stop before me at the bed's edge, wedging herself between my parted legs. "And then we have to talk, too." Her wavering tone caused a wave of worry to churn my guts.

"A good talk? Or a bad talk?" I wanted clarification to better prepare myself emotionally and mentally.

Flashing a small smile, she reached out and pinched my cheek softly. "A good talk. I'm not breaking up with you for good or anything like that." She assured me in a soft yet firm voice.

Then, I swear, my heart skipped a beat when she leaned in and pressed her sweetly soft lips against mine in a trembling kiss.

Control burned up the moment her lips touched mine in forever. My arm wrapped itself around her waist like a constrictor would with prey while my other hand grabbed the back of her head to keep her intoxicating lips against mine. I didn't want this high to end, not after going this whole time without kissing her.

This was the first time since our blowout that we have kissed. I had respected Juliet's wishes and kept a certain distance between us, and I was mindful of physical contact with her. Unless she initiated it, I didn't attempt it.

Juliet said I was her drug, well she was mine. I meant what I said about not being able to live without her. She was the breath of life to me; every morning, whenever she kissed me, or I stole her breath from her, it felt like a hit of energy. Being around her or knowing she was around motivated me to go through my work to spend more time with her. And her touch, the feeling of her body, her kisses, her, was otherworldly euphoria that no drug could ever come close to mimicking.

A muffled cry of protest and the feeling of something tapping my shoulder snapped me back to my senses. Reluctantly, I broke away from Juliet with a sharp inhale of air. "Please, let me kiss you again." Call me a love-sick fool, whipped, desperate, I don't care. I'd stoop to any level as long as I could get another taste of her lip.

"Only one—" I didn't let her finish because of my eagerness. A muffled squeal and giggle vibrated against my mouth as I forced my way into Juliet's mouth, wanting to get every inch of her again on my tongue. "Luthca sthoph." She protested while trying to pull herself away.

Yielding to her request somewhat bitterly, I pulled away again, this time frowning a bit at her. I tried to go in for another kiss when she opened her mouth, but she was smarter and faster this time. Instead of her lips, I was met with the palm of her hand, causing my brows to furrow together as I pouted at her. "Luca, we can kiss all you want later after we have our talk. We won't leave the bed if we don't stop now."

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